This Is Also How They Drive Mice Crazy

I do not work in a large company, mostly because I have a habit of smiling when ego-driven megalomaniacs say... almost anything. But in support of those of you who do, please beware the following traps that may lower your quality of life below that of laboratory animals.

The Lower Your Own Wages Trap: You are paid to sell as many widgets as humanly possible; if you sell more widgets, you get more cash. But then a Leader becomes infatuated with The Fad Of The Day, and you gather in a large room, where the Leader or a Mini-Leader exhorts you to ignore your own financial interests and embrace the fad. 

The Customer Focus Trap: After years of being in business, Leader decides that it is time to "focus on customers". This, of course, raises the question of what your firm has been doing for the past 38 years. 

Let's break this down a bit. If Leader really wanted you to focus on customers, you would have been told to do so on your first day at work. So why would he pick a random day to mix things up? 

Have you ever seen a magician at work? It's all about sleight of hand. While you're watching the scantily-clad woman being sawn in half, she is actually running out the back door. (Ok, truth be told, I don't understand how that trick works.)

The same thing is happening at work: you are being deceived. Every time you hear the words "customer focus", you should think: how am I being tricked this time?

The Make It Your Idea Trap: Leader tells your boss (Mini-Leader) to pursue an idea that s/he either doesn't understand or doesn't want to do. S/he asks you to investigate and create a proposal to move forward. 

• You submit a recommendation not to proceed.
• Mini-Leader tells you the company is committed to doing this, so please ("do I have to tell you everything twice?") do what you were told.
• You submit a proposal to proceed that is riddled with inconsistencies and logical fallacies, because - as you know - it's a lousy idea.

Guess what? If anything goes wrong, it's now your fault.

The only solid defense against this sort of trap is to move so slowly that Mini-Leader has to trap someone else. This is the real reason big companies move so slowly.

The Fight for Credit Trap: As more people are coming to realize, the only person in an entire company who actually has talent is the CEO. This is why your CEO makes $8 million and you get paid just enough to maintain the lease on your Ford Focus.

Did you ever wonder how the CEO manages to convince the Board that s/he deserves all the credit? It's devilishly simple: assign 26 people to do every job. 

In the old days (i.e 1995), if you wanted to call on a customer, one salesperson called on a customer. Today, before that happens...

• 19 people have to gather in a conference room, connected by speakerphone to...
• seven other people in three different countries...
• none of whom can clearly hear or stay awake to understand what the others are saying...
• so that seven people can actually visit the client...
• who doesn't understand what this meeting is all about since he is four weeks away from leaving his firm

If and when such meetings ever generate revenue (very rare), everyone who ever attended such a meeting will seek credit for the win. Alas, all will be denied credit, since the customer was obvious convinced by the charismatic 30-second call the CEO placed to the client.

How to escape these traps...

And now for the good news. In two words, I can explain the ways to free yourself from these and other traps: human relationships.

For all its complications and complexities, business runs on human relationships. For extended periods of time, people forget this. But someone - a person - has to decide to buy what you are selling, to call you when they have a problem, or to seek your guidance when they need counsel.

So if you are in sales, build strong relationships with your buyers. Forget the politics, and focus on the person. I know this is simplistic, but it's also the only fundamental strategy that works in the long run. Even if you reach a point at which you no longer can tolerate this employer, you will find other excellent companies eager to hire someone who has such strong relationships.

Ask yourself: do I trust my boss? Can I maintain a strong human relationship with him or her? If the answer is no, you only have two choices: outlast him or her, or switch to another job.

Never allow yourself to be treated like a mouse. Find quality people, and build quality relationships.

Bruce Kasanoff helps professionals like you find the right words to advance your career. Learn more at Kasanoff.com. Bruce is the author of How to Self-Promote without Being a Jerk.