Alone at Christmas - Part 2
I had moments of grief during the Christmas holidays.
I already talked about the first moment in “Alone at Christmas.”
I had a second moment of grief on December 31st.
I thought about what exactly I lost with the loss of my parents.
I lost a sense of safety and feeling that I was cared for with the loss of my parents.
My parents and I had a strong family unit. I knew that I belonged in this unit.
With they’re being gone, I started to catastrophize and to think that I don’t belong anywhere.
A couple of thoughts came to mind.
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First, I gave myself permission to sit with grief and to acknowledge it. I am not interested in masking or numbing the grief with alcohol, drugs or cigarettes. If you know me, I don’t do these things anyway. I thought about going to the casino, but I resisted the idea.
Second, I know that I need to have self-compassion and not beat myself up. I am taking good care of myself and live a healthy lifestyle. Walking helps with regulating my mood.???
Third, I need to talk about what I’m feeling. Lucky for me, two friends messaged me on New Years Eve, and I took the opportunity to share my grief. ?
Fourth, I came across a book by Geoffrey L. Cohen (who’s a psychology professor) called “Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides.” I’ll be happy if I were to pick up a few nuggets of wisdom from this book.
Fifth, I consider myself to be a self-aware and resilient person. Are you going through grief? Please message me and we can support each other!
Six, I view adversity as an opportunity to grow in some way or learn something about myself. I don’t necessarily seek out adversity, but I do try to take it (adversity) in stride. Stoicism anyone?
Connection is important to me. Going forward I want to strengthen existing connections and make new ones. If anything resonates in this article, please feel free to connect and arrange a conversation.
Here’s to a happy and healthy new year 2024 for us all !????
Technology Leader | Information Technology Operations | IT Change Management | Technology Infrastructure
1 年Hi Jamie, I like the way you delineate your efforts to work through those feelings. It's almost like an outline of a handbook for dealing with these types of issues.
Author at Self-employed
1 年I've been grieving during the holidays, too, so I understand how you feel. Please feel free to contact me if you need sometime to talk to.
Graphic Artist and Creative Design Specialist, Freelance
1 年Beautiful and thought provoking Jamie. Grief is such a rollercoaster... Many loved ones lost in the past few years... And then those lost 11 years ago ( my parents)... And even before that. All come back in my memory and grief reminds me again. Because grief to me is love. And their memories are truly a blessing. ??????
Human Resources at Sk Staffing Inc
1 年Happy New Year Jamie !
Nonfiction Editor & Proofreader | Transforming Manuscripts into Masterpieces | Publishing Professional
1 年When "alone" I think it helps to remember we are not truly alone, in the sense that whatever feeling, situation, or suffering you are going through, so many others have gone through it and are currently going through it as well. Interestingly enough, any time you feel alone, keep in mind that this is an increasing feeling that more and more people are going through. So there is a sense of togetherness even in this being alone. (I understand your case is due to the loss of your parents, though.) It's a great step for you to seek out connections and togetherness through your feelings of being alone, as I think it's tough to do in those moments. Many people isolate themselves instead, which can be more harmful. Something else - through your sense of loss, it may help to know that in a sense anyone you've lost is always with you. You have not just memories, but when you truly know them you know what they would think or say or how they would react to different things. And you can tap into that sense of them being there, even when they are not. People can be with you in very important ways - mind, spirit, emotionally, etc., even when no longer physically there.