The Ally Perspective

Supporting one another goes to the very core of human existence. We are made to collaborate and flourish when we work together in a group or team. Historically it was a matter of survival and today this collaboration sets the tone in a workplace or our community. The group can be small or large however the members need to trust each other for the collaboration to really work. However, 35 per cent of LGBT+ people felt “compelled to lie” about their personal lives at work and this is where the ally has a role to pay.Let me start off by stating that there is no such thing as ‘the straight ally’. They come in all shapes and sizes, approaches, confidence, levels of involvement and bring with them the whole spectrum of skills, empathy and understanding. However, they have one thing in common: a straight ally has made a conscious decision to learn and support members of the LGBT+ community. Much has been written about the role of the straight ally and much is in the form of checklists of the things the ally must do in order to be a ‘really good’ straight ally. I am going to resist setting out a checklist since it immediately constrains, rates and ranks something which cannot be forced nor shaped to a pre-determined image. We do not need more labels in this world.

I have met energetic and highly active straight allies who campaign, engage and pursue the equality agenda with fervor. I have also met straight allies whose contribution is made through a few carefully chosen words in a meeting when one member of the team makes a particularly poorly chosen remark. Both are exceptional, both support LGBT+ and both should be commended and encouraged. Allies have a desire to understand LGBT+ and to treat their fellow members of the community as human beings with feelings, desires, aspirations, moods and free thoughts which are the essence of human existence. LGBT+ can seem a complex world of terminology, things one can say and things one definitely cannot say. “Treading on eggshells” is how one colleague described it. Who am I to argue, however my experience is that as with many things in life a little understanding and education goes a long way and taking the time to learn about LGBT+ is a truly rewarding step.

With an estimated 50% of people who are LGBT+ not ‘out’ at the workplace there is a lot to learn how to support fellow colleagues by creating a workplace which is free of fear, intimidation and bias. Sometimes the bias is created by team members who are simply not aware that their well-intentioned banter can cause another person’s anxiety to rise. “Hey, John, your holiday in Spain must have been great – you have such a tan. Do you have any pictures?” Maybe pictures are not something John wishes to share, not because Spain was not lovely but because the pictures are of him and his partner. Should John make two albums with one just of landscapes in case anyone asks?

Being a straight ally is not necessarily easy. It takes courage and determination. It takes time: time to learn, time to engage, time to become familiar with LGBT+ topics. For my part, I have been a straight ally for many years. This has proven to be an incredibly rewarding experience which has opened my eyes, introduced me to many people I may not have met otherwise and has taught me so much about diversity. Most of all, it has been fun because diversity is all about people and each has a story to tell. Stories which are as colourful, interesting and diverse as humanity itself. This is something I treasure and feel privileged to be included. I also hope that my actions have helped, in whatever small way, to make the workplace just a little more tolerant.

Consider committing yourself to become an ally and you may have have just made the world a little bit fairer, equal and free of bias.

For more information go to: https://www.straightforequality.org

#diversity #inclusion #straightally #betterworkplace