The alluring work-life balance

An incredibly stirring phrase that hit my inbox today came in a simple forward about work-life balance that strongly advocated the message “you don’t have to do everything yourself.” While we train, learn and make all out efforts to master delegation in our professional lives, we probably do not make similar investments on the personal front. The challenge may be more acute for women as the coating of emotions and mindsets makes the pill bitterer to administer. 

Backed by a personal experience of having worked close to two decades, with a break from work in-between, here are some of the practices that continued to keep the wheels oiled, during my journey. These handy tips may hopefully help youngsters navigate through critical decisions, taking them closer to striking that alluring work-life balance.

• Learn to seek help: This is one sentence that is pinned up in my cubicle and on my refrigerator. I learnt this through a lot of toil and persistence. I am not sure whether it is appropriate to say that this is a ‘women thing’ but I have seen a lot of my women friends and female family members suffer from the ‘I would love to be validated as a perfectionist’ and ‘I have to know everything’ malady. This translates to, “I am in the run for the promotion every year, I can take up new courses, I will raise my hand for company events, I need to be visible at every forum”, to, “I am the best housekeeper, I can make fancy dishes, I am the best mom, I have to take my kids to the classes, my kid is always a topper, my kid is not only good in studies but also in arts and sports”…. The list is endless! Of course “I can do everything” is a good goal to aspire for but it may not be the most practical or the best solution in certain situations, particularly when you are waging a battle on several fronts. If there are certain chores or projects that can be outsourced without too much of an impact on the desired outcome, just do it! In fact, better still; have a well thought out plan and make a list of chores and jobs that can be outsourced.
• Build a diverse support system: That working parent needs a support system is a given but the kind of support system that we cultivate is also very important. Peer networks, family relationships, cultivating friends around kids and their activities as also making investments in building a team of staff that can help on the home front, comes in very handy. We have team building activities, invest time in nurturing and grooming team members, look for development opportunities of our peers/subordinates at work. Why can’t we adopt the same strategy at home? Retention of staff is also an art which if mastered will reap immense benefits.
• Invest in relationships: 'We have to carefully forge our paths to fulfillment'. And an enduring source of happiness comes through emotionally enriched and mutual, reciprocal relationships. And, relationships cannot be taken for granted. Be it parents, in-laws, spouse, kids or even friends. We need each one of them and the only way to make them enduring and long lasting is by nurturing them with time and effort. 
• Mentoring and coaching: This is just not limited to professional lives. There is a lot of merit in investing and harvesting personal mentors. We encounter situations in life – from ailing family members to behavioral issues with kids to personal conflicts and so on - where perspectives and guidance from a trusted friend or senior relative can give a constructive direction to your thoughts. Sometimes just having a trusted listener can be of tremendous help to pull you out of negativity and helplessness.
• The 2 Ps: Planning and Prioritization are ‘must haves’. Having a unidirectional focus on only one P (profession or personal) all through your life doesn’t help. There will always be the twists and turns that we continue to encounter throughout our lives where one has to prioritize to pick up one over the other. And, being proactive in anticipating the spikes and planning accordingly is a skill that has to be honed continuously.
• It’s all about Me: I have realized that we cannot care for others unless we care for ourselves.  The neglect may not be apparent as much when you are young but as you progress in life there is a possibility that the demands that life has of you may engross you completely. Being aware and reminding yourself to keep some time aside for nurturing yourself is a conscious decision that you have to make.

There are never any easy answers. No two lives are same. Working through personal and professional situations requires a lot of consistent hard work. While we have to work through our dilemmas and carve out the solutions that work for us, the above guidelines may help young women who are caught between work and kids, especially when they decide to continue with their careers. If you have any tips that can add value to the discussion please post them in the comments.