On allowing

I don't know about you, but my body usually tells me first.

Regardless - positive or negative, there's always a sign that I'm either where I need to be, or that I'm trying to fit somewhere that is not me-shaped.

Creating a business that is 'me-shaped' takes time, and my body has been telling me for the past few weeks that I'm in the process of knocking off the final few corners so that my business fits me perfectly.

Fit is also something that applies to any workplace.

Is there a good fit between your values and your organisation's values - do you see them lived out live day to day?

Is there a good fit between your personal goals and is the organisation supportive of them?

Is there a good fit between your professional development goals and is the organisation supportive of, and possibly invested in them?

And then there's psychological fit. And this is where I think things get a bit tricky in business and the workplace.

This is where the environment COULD be perfect. The job COULD be perfect. The business COULD be perfect, but our inner inner critic and inner cynic come to dance and sing and shout loudly, and make you question and question and question.

Are you the right person to be doing this?

Are you really capable of succeeding?

What will people say?

Surely you're not qualified enough?

Who are you to do this?

Is this really the right place for you?

You end up buying into a narrative of uncertainty, of constant questioning, of trusting yourself less and less and making the 'fit' worse and worse and worse.

A good friend asked me today 'what do you need in order to make that happen?' after I had proclaimed in the most certain and clear way what I love most to coach around (which I also observed is nowhere to be seen on any of my social media!).

My answer:

"I need to allow it to happen"

It is as simple, and as complex as that.

But what even is allowing (apart from scary?!)?

Allowing has many meanings - to state that something is permissible, to give someone permission, to take something into consideration, to admit the truth of.

For me allowing is all of those things. It is a process:

1) accepting - the truth of my why, accepting my multi-passionate focus as the perfect expression of who I am - creating my own 'best fit' - creating and defining success on my own terms.

2) declaring - telling people, consistently, what I am claiming as my coaching focus and my business focus.

3) trusting - remaining connected to my skills and competence and to refining my internal narratives that I am THE person to do this. Engaging with supervision and reflective practice as a way of working through self-doubt.

4) inviting - creating ways of inviting others those into my world who need what I do.

So what does this mean for me?

It means that my coaching focus will remain 1:1.

My coaching passion is supporting women in mid-senior leadership who have experienced toxic workplaces or relationships and who are struggling to find the confidence to lead how they would like (and wow it feels amazing to actually have declared that).

I coach these women into their next level of leadership and through redundancy

My wider business combines coaching with creating psychology-based insight assessments for other coaches, therapists and psychologists who also do transformational work.

My invitation?

Well, if you identify as the woman I coach get in touch.

If you work in an organisation and know of women with this experience who need coaching, get in touch.

If your organisation supports redundancy coaching and is going through transition, get in touch.

If you're a coach doing amazing work and don't know how to assess your return on investment, get in touch!

And if you're still reading this and your body is letting you know that maybe the fit isn't right, ask yourself:

What do I need in order for the fit to be good enough?