Allow Them to Experience Failure

Let me just begin by saying I know it's tough. Seeing our children fail at anything is hard to watch. Many times when we see our children traveling down the road that is seemingly going to end in failure, we as parents try to either stop it or if we see we are too late, we try to help our children cope by offering excuses and applying the "if only" statement. Here are a few examples and likely you can think or have heard of others: "If only the coach had made that adjustment, you would've been put in a better situation." "If only your teacher would've given you more time, you wouldn't have received that grade." "If only your coach had prepared your team better, you wouldn't have lost."

Please understand that I am guilty of this. I've found myself leaning towards the "if only" statements a few times as a parent. It's right and natural to be protective and defensive about our children as we don't want to see them fail but think about your life and the lessons you have learned. You'll likely agree that some of the best lessons you have learned in life have been from your failures. In fact, when you look at great organizations or sports teams, most of the highly successful organizations can point back to a failure that propelled them to the next level for a big win!

I'm not saying that our goal as parents is to see our children fail, but rather the best thing we can do for our children when we see failure creeping up is to be there for them and allow them to work through it. Our role is to teach them to own it, guide them on how to navigate through it and let them know throughout that journey that we are with them each step of the way.

A few things to remember when going through this journey with your children:

Help them learn to adjust. You know life is about constant change and adjustments. Challenge them to look at their failure and ask them how they would adjust or change if given the same circumstance or situation and what they would do differently.

Let them know they can get back up. You've been there before. You've had failures. You've been knocked down and you have gotten back up. Help them understand what being resilient means and what it looks like. Tell them about one of your failures and how you got back up. Giving them a personal story of your journey will help them see they can overcome failure and shortcomings. Give advice and then give them space. Allow them to use their own strength to stand back up on their own two feet where they will slowly begin to walk, run and sprint again.

Let them know it's okay to fail. When you learn from your failures, you become stronger, resilient and the lessons learned will help prepare you for future tests. I believe that when you learn from your failures, you ultimately turn it into a win. Give them confidence that while they are working through their situation, life is not over and these moments will pass.

Tell them you love them. This is the most important point of all. Your children should and likely will go through failures in life and what they need to know is that they are loved unconditionally - no matter the outcome. They need to know that you are there for them.

This world we live in is not getting any easier, so let's work on getting our children ready for it!