Allies: Release The Likability Trap

In leadership and talent management practices, we often confront a subtle yet pervasive challenge: the pressure on leaders, particularly Black women and other underrepresented groups, to conform to a narrow, subjective standard of likability. This standard frequently prioritizes personality over competence, overshadowing genuine skills and capabilities with expectations of charm, gregariousness, and agreeableness. Such expectations not only stifle authentic self-presentation but also undermine the development of a truly inclusive and equitable work environment.

Competence must be anchored in measurable skills, knowledge, outcomes, and leadership qualities that directly relate to job performance and advancing the organizations. It's imperative that organizations revise their leadership competency frameworks to prioritize diversity, equity, inclusion (DEI), and psychological safety as fundamental components. True leadership is defined not by mere performance or superficial charm but through the depth of connections, the quality of relationships built, and the capacity to empathize and respond to the needs of others in service to their growth.

As leaders making talent decisions on the potential and advancement of women of colour and other underrepresented groups:

1. Challenge the Likability Norm

The preference for likability often signals a deeper discomfort with change and challenge. Leaders may favor those who affirm the status quo because it feels safer and less confrontational. This can significantly hinder organizational growth by overlooking those who challenge prevailing norms, thereby driving innovation and transformation.

1) Address the Fear of Disruption

Organizations that over-prioritize likability may fear unsettling existing power dynamics or disrupting what is perceived as a harmonious environment. However, this fear can prevent the emergence of critical insights and the questioning of ineffective practices, which are crucial for continuous improvement.

2) Value Honesty Over Politeness

Equating likability with politeness or quietness can severely restrict honest, open communication. This environment may compel employees to suppress their opinions or insights, particularly if they anticipate these might be unpopular or provoke disagreement.

3) Recognize Intelligence and Assertiveness

There’s a troubling tendency to perceive those who are vocal, informed, or assertive as "too much," a perception that disproportionately affects women and people of colour. This bias reflects outdated norms that do not equate competence and assertiveness with diverse demographics.

4) Re-evaluate Comfort in Leadership

Leaders need to introspect whether their comfort with likability truly aligns with what successful leadership and organizational success entail. Is leadership about maintaining appearances, or is it about diving deep, even into discomfort, to foster genuine growth and innovation?

Reflection Questions for Leaders

• How might your own preferences for likability be influencing your decisions, especially regarding who is considered a potential leader?
• Are you valuing comfort over growth, and how might this be impacting your leadership style and your organization’s culture?

In shifting our focus from a narrow definition of likability to a broader, more inclusive understanding of leadership potential, we challenge ourselves and our organizations to embrace diversity in thought and action. This approach is not just about being liked but about fostering environments where challenging, inspiring, and thinking differently are the norms. As we strive to empower women of colour and all underrepresented groups, let's commit to leadership that values authenticity and competence above all.

#Allyship #womenofcolor #brilliantcolours #glasscliff #blackexcellence

Rachel Baptiste is CEO of Lumen Consulting Group Inc., and an executive coach dedicated to transforming the narrative for women of colour in corporate spaces into one of authenticity, purpose, and empowerment at every stage of their leadership journey. Partnering with allies to take meaningful actions to foster cultures and systems where diversity truly thrives. Join her on this transformative mission.