Allegations of Sexual Abuse

Each year, nearly half a million Americans are affected by sexual violence. While an American is sexually assaulted every 68 seconds, less than 3% of perpetrators, or 25 for every thousand, end up behind bars. Allegations of sexual abuse must be handled with objectivity, unbiased analysis, and - above all - empathy. Whether endured by a spouse or a child, evidence of such acts is not always obvious. Some victims go to great lengths to conceal any sign of what they have endured.

In marriage, an individual may fall victim to sexual violence without knowing it. It can occur in the form of unwanted sexual advances, forced intercourse, or even a partner’s refusal to wear protection. Victims may have partners who gaslight them into believing it to be their spousal duty to endure such acts, but feelings of distress should never be justified or ignored. Societal norms of the past have even suggested that a person is entitled to his or her body anytime - and in any way. Couples need to understand that enduring unwanted sexual advances are not “just a part of marriage.” Much to the contrary, it is abuse.

There are also victims of sexual abuse who are too young to understand what they are experiencing. Predators who commit the inexplicable act of exploiting a child’s innocence will attempt to manipulate him or her into believing that the abusive behavior is normal. The jarring reality is, over 90 percent of abusers are someone the child knows, loves, and trusts. More than 30% of victims are abused by a close relative. A 1995 study published in the?Journal of Child Sexual Abuse?revealed biological fathers to be the most commonly named offenders, followed by stepparents, and then biological mothers. If a divorce proceeding involves allegations of abuse against a relative or co-inhabitant of the young victim, Child Protective Services (CPS) will step in to investigate and provide the minor with additional protection.

Consequently, victims may wrestle with a traumatic internal conflict that leads to the abuse going unreported. Children, despite their anguish, may attempt to rationalize the heinous acts simply because the perpetrator is an adult whom they trust. It is far too common for young victims to hide their experiences due to the shame they may feel for participating in them.

Sexual assault victims must be treated with respect and compassion. If and when they are ready to report their trauma, it is important to be an active and empathetic listener. Though, there are some individuals who fabricate allegations in hopes of gaining the upper hand in divorce proceedings. Unfortunately, false accusations made during divorce and child custody matters have become widespread enough to earn a name: S.A.I.D. Syndrome.

S.A.I.D. Syndrome, or sexual allegations in divorce, is a phenomenon illustrating the increased family dysfunction that may occur during a separation. Parents may believe they will gain leverage in court if they fabricate a sexual abuse accusation against their partner. They may even go so far as to introduce false accusations for the sole purpose of alienating their partners from their children. S.A.I.D. Syndrome causes parents to be motivated by their desire to keep the child for themselves, their fear that the child will prefer their spouse to them, or their wish to enact revenge on their partner. Those who fabricate sexual violence should be warned that the discovery of false allegations will completely impede proceedings and severely undermine their case.

For additional support and resources, visit the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN) website:?https://www.rainn.org/about-sexual-assault. Victims of sexual violence are encouraged to contact the 24/7 National Sexual Assault Hotline at (800) 656 - 4673.

If you or anyone you know requires assistance in navigating allegations of sexual abuse during divorce proceedings, contact me at [email protected].