All you need is love...and some tissues.

Recently, I read an article about how to start a new job in the middle of a pandemic. It might have been helpful to read this before I took the new job…in the middle of a pandemic. But alas, here I was navigating the unchartered waters of a new company. Thank goodness I chose to stay in the same industry. I cannot imagine where I’d be had I not at least known a thing or two about home healthcare.

If you know me, you know I’m more of the big picture type and I’m very much a relationship person. It’s no surprise that I focused heavily on the culture of the new company and those people that I’d be working with. I felt a pull to the new company and excitement about taking on a new challenge. Looking forward, I could visualize happiness in the new role and an opportunity for unlimited personal and professional growth and development. Many people have congratulated me on my courage to take such a leap. In the last two months, I’ve learned it’s not as easy as it may look.

Leaving a company that I loved after twenty-six years was harder than I could’ve imagined. Yet it has already taught me a few things that I think are worth sharing.

Lesson one. First, companies do not create great cultures, people do. Both the company I previously worked for and the new company have strong cultural foundations, a written guide that explains what good looks like. Both companies do a great job of socializing this expectation and are known for their great cultures. However, at the end of the day, it is up to us, as individuals, to determine if our values align with the expectations of the companies we choose. And, if they do, we must ensure we live up to it every single day. It’s not just up to the senior leaders; it takes every single person. After all, we create a great culture (or not). We are the brand.

Lesson two. You cannot hold onto every relationship forever. As a mom of two daughters, I’ve had this conversation before. I’ve found myself saying to them, “Not everyone will be your friend forever. If you can count on one hand the number of true friends you have that last a lifetime, you are blessed.”  (I think my mother taught me that). It’s true in the business world, too. As hard as I tried to stay in touch with many of my colleagues over the past couple of months, I don’t have enough time in the day to connect with them as often as I’d like. At first, the sadness of missing my old colleagues overwhelmed me. I cried – a LOT. But, just like any type of grief, every day gets better and you learn to focus on the future, while respecting the past and what it has taught you. I find it takes effort to build new relationships, and they are so worth it. With each new day, I look at a new colleague whom I am growing ever close to and say, “Wow! I never would have met you if I didn’t take this opportunity.” At the same time, I make time to text an old colleague to say I’m thinking about and miss them. We have lots to learn from lots of different souls.

Lesson three. In-person is a much better way to build new relationships in a new job. Due to the pandemic, it took me six weeks to finally meet some of my teammates in person. And while I began to learn a lot about each of them while on Microsoft Teams, nothing beats a good old-fashioned white-board session in a conference room, even if you are masked and six-feet apart. And more importantly, you learn the most about a person over a cocktail and appetizers, and it’s so nice to see the whole person and not just the top half of them. I do have one question that’s been on my mind – Will we ever go back to hugs? (Asking for a friend)

Lesson four. You are never too old to learn and stretch yourself. I turned fifty last year. It’s that year when you realize you have likely lived more than half of your life already. That realization puts a lot of things into perspective. Some call it a mid-life crisis. I call it “mid-life wake-up and keep challenging yourself!” One of my favorite quotes is, “If you aren’t growing, you are dying.” And that is how I choose to live my life. And, when anything threatens my opportunity to learn and grow, I feel like I am being deprived of nutrients. When I first heard I was going to have to learn Microsoft Teams, I admit I was a little frightened. I had only been exposed to certain elements of the product and hadn’t been a big fan! However, it reminds me of how some folks once taught their kids to swim – just throw them in; they will sink or swim. While I have certainly been drinking from the fire hose these last few weeks, there is no better way to learn and learn fast than to just jump in. Embrace it! Don’t be too hard on yourself. Allow yourself to ask the dumb questions. Each week, you will find that you feel more and more like you’ve been doing this forever.  Sometimes, you will feel like you are drowning before you get your head above water. (And, for the record, I am now a big fan of Microsoft Teams. I love how it fully integrates my Microsoft products - game changer when it comes to scheduling meetings and collaborating with colleagues).

Lesson five and the most important lesson of all. At the end of the day, be that person who is kind, who loves unconditionally, and isn’t afraid to show it. The pandemic has made it even more evident that we need one another. When I left my last company, a team of very special people took the time to show me I was loved and would be missed.  That meant the world to me and is something I will pay forward. My new team has also embraced me with open arms. It inspires me to do the same for everyone I am meeting – be open and listen to understand. In a time of change, it’s easy to judge, to be skeptical of someone or something new, or to put your guard up as a source of protection. No matter our role in life, I think we are all just trying to make the world a better place, to help one another, and to leave our mark. Amid changing jobs or the chaos of a pandemic, I still believe love is all we really need.