Is it all about YOU...?

Or is it all about your Clients?

Peter heads a highly respected consulting firm in Singapore. That evening, he was furious. He had just learnt his service-proposal for an important project had not been retained by a major financial institution, and he had no real clue why.

As we sat together, he vented:

Peter: "We spent a small fortune in research to put our proposal together. I assigned the best brains in my team to the job. I worked two full weekends myself on the deal. The solution we pitched is perfect. And we made a significant effort on our fees. I know my competitors well enough to tell you none of them could have produced a more thorough proposal." 

Jean-Francois: "How often does such rejection happen?"

Peter: "Way too often! It’s the fifth time this year!" 

Later in our conversation, Peter asked me to contact the prospects who had recently turned down their proposals, and to investigate why.

Two weeks later, I visited Peter again, with the outcome of my survey...

Jean-Francois: "Peter, I contacted all of your prospects. They were very open and friendly. First, no one contested that your proposals were well researched, technically excellent and that you had highly capable consultants. Second, no one commented on your fees, before I prompted them to voice their opinion; and then they said the value/cost ratio was OK. Can you guess then what made them choose a competitor?"

Peter: "I am not in the mood for guessing, tell me."

Jean-Francois: "They liked the other guys better... or... they felt the other guys cared more."

Peter jumped out of his armchair in white rage, and exclaimed:

Peter: "Whaaaat? We work like mad men to put up the best proposals and they say we don’t care?"

Jean-Francois: "That is not what I told you. I said they felt the other guys cared more."

Peter: "That is absolute non-sense."

Tense silence invaded the office. Then Peter mumbled:

Peter: "And why is that?"

Jean-Francois: "Shall we start with you? How do you show your prospects you care?"

Peter just talked - again - about the amount and quality of work invested in the proposals. His thinking was obviously restrained by his beliefs.

Jean-Francois: "Peter, what do you know about how your prospects and clients expect you to show you care?"

Our conversation surfaced the necessity for Peter and his staff to shift from wanting to be interesting to being genuinely more interested. Peter also found out he should recruit good brains with good hearts, or rather, good emotional intelligence.

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Coincidently, I recently spoke in a workshop about ‘networking effectiveness’ to young and brilliant consultants. I asked: “when you network with potential clients, is it more important for you to be interesting or to be interested?” Almost in unison, they answered “interesting!” Later on, though, they recognized that the people they remember most and would be happy to meet again are those who appeared genuinely interested in them, not those who were interesting only...

That may be why one of the most successful Sales Director I know keeps repeating to her staff: “treat your customers as you would treat your boy-friend or girl-friend.”

As Theodore Roosevelt said: “people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care”.

And if we wish to be liked (or trusted or listened to) by someone, mustn’t we like (or trust or listen) first?

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Jean-Francois Cousin

Speaker, Author and Master Certified Coach

Director at the Global Board of the International Coach Federation

Chair of Program and Speakers Committee, APAC Coaching

Greatness Leadership Coaching

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“Enjoyable and compelling, this timely fable and its lessons read like a novel but serves as an important business manual. With wisdom and context from a long and successful business career, Cousin has painted a vivid picture of how to enact change effectively. Page after page of insight!”

Marshall Goldsmith, Author of the New York Times and global bestseller What Got You Here Won’t Get You There