Not All Who Wander Are Lost.

by Chris Cantergiani on April 17rd, 2023

Some of you may be familiar with my brother-from-another-mother story. It has been a real gift to have this unexpected relationship with a half sibling I never knew existed until a little more than a year ago. On some level there may be a connection to the discovery of a 'secret brother' that led me to start a career in marriage and family therapy, but it wasn't a direct connection. Earlier this week a friend from high school reached out and asked me how I wound up becoming a therapist. As I was emailing her a reply, I thought it might be good to share.

This is the story of how I got here.

By the time the pandemic hit, I had been working in TV news virtually non-stop since 1991. It was pretty awesome for the first 20 years. But staff reductions and budget cuts made it a grind by 2010, and by the end of 2019 I was burned out and seriously looking around for work outside of journalism and documentary production. My contract was up in six months. I remember thinking it could be a good time to make a move.

Then, just as lockdowns were beginning nationwide, I was called into the newsroom for an early morning meeting and told I was being let go. It was March 13th, 2020. They said "You've done nothing wrong, but we've got to let you go. You won't recognize the newsroom by the end of the week." A few other employees were cut and the next day everyone else was pushed out of the newsroom to work from home for what turned out to be more than a year.

There wasn’t an email announcement that I was gone.

There was no cake.

I just ghosted my coworkers, at the direction of my former bosses.

So there I was... the biggest news story of my lifetime, and I'm on the bench.

Heck, I wasn't even on the bench, I was outside of the stadium in the parking lot.

It was so surreal.

Fortunately, a guy I knew in town had asked a few weeks earlier if I would be interested in starting up a video department for his marketing company. I worked for him for about a year, but my heart wasn't in it.

While hanging out with friends in Phoenix on New Year's Eve 2021, I asked them if they had any ideas for what I might do as a second career. One of them, Sage, had picked up a marriage and family therapy master's degree in 2020, and had his license for about a year. He mentioned some of the cross-over skills from journalism and therapy and something clicked.

He said a therapist is basically interviewing a client and helping them make sense of the story of their lives. I had really enjoyed psychology classes in college, but at that point in life I was pretty focused on journalism. This was the first idea that had come up in about two years that really excited me. It had been like pushing a boulder up a hill to find work at that point, and when I started looking into classes the universe literally opened up and things moved like a greased wheel.

Two weeks after that conversation I was enrolled in Capella's MFT master's degree program. They have rolling admission, so I was able to start classes the first week of February. I've been a full time student for the past year.

A week ago today I saw the first clients for my clinical internship, which will continue through March of 2024.

In addition to the internship, this quarter I'm also taking two classes and will have one more over the summer. I'll start studying for the MFT national exam in September and can take it in January.

Assuming I pass the exam, by this time next year I'll officially be a licensed marriage and family therapist in Ohio.

I’m so glad to have you along for the ride so far. Stick around to see how the story unfolds.

Now, on with this week’s Ohio EFT Newsletter:

Relationship Woes? ‘Breakup’ Therapy Might Be The Answer.

by Sarah Gundlee on April 17th, 2023

Relationship therapists often spend a lot of energy trying to salvage a dying relationship. However, as many of us have experienced in life or while working with clients, the end of a relationship shouldn’t necessarily be considered a failure. This article makes the case that for some couples breaking up might be the right call, and offers suggestions on better ways to go about it.

What To Do If A Friend Ghosts You.

by Catherine Pearson on April 17th, 2023

It’s not just a dating thing, and it can hurt. A lot. Here are ways to cope - and move forward.

Attachment Style Isn’t Destiny.

by Faith Hill on April 17, 2023

You’ve heard it before: there are 3 attachment styles. Except… the reality of the theory is more complex than that, and conventional wisdom is moving beyond the idea that attachment style is a fixed notion, like your astrological sign. As this article points out, not only can your attachment style change over the arc of your life; it can change from moment to moment.

Ohio EFT’s Upcoming Monthly Google Meet video call - Next Friday, April 28th @ 9:00am (EST)

by Ohio EFT on April 17th, 2023

Join us at 9:00am next Friday, April 28th, for our continuing discussion about the 9 steps of EFT. We are now entering the elusive Stage 3, and will discuss Step 8: Facilitating the emergence of new solutions to old problems. We’ll also discuss individual assessments for one-on-one meetings before starting EFT sessions and Step 1. Direct message me here on LinkedIn if you'd like a link to the call.

Free Webinar With EFT Trainers Rebecca Jorgensen & James Hawkins!

by ICEEFT on April 17th, 2023

Here’s a great opportunity to sign up for a free 60 minute webinar on May 22nd that can help answer your questions about EFT and learning to utilize the power of attunement. This event is FREE for ICEEFT members, and will provide you with tools to improve your emotional range, assist with understanding what you’re feeling in sessions and why those feelings occur. Space is limited but you can sign up today through this link. Just in case that hits a snag, here’s another route.

When Other People’s Anxiety Makes You Miserable, Here Are 4 Ways To Cope

by Dr. Tracy Dennis-Tiwary on April 17th, 2023

The author of “Future Tense: Why Anxiety Is Good For You (Even Though It Feels Bad)” has given considerable thought to what we know about anxiety in relationships. In this article she highlights these four tips: Begin with compassion, identify the patterns, create consistent boundaries and scaffold instead of accommodate.

Therapists Get Anxious Too. Here’s What To Do.

by Andrea Petersen on April 17th, 2023

People who treat those with anxiety have some surprising strategies for themselves. I don’t mean to pile on, but this WSJ article fits so well with the one above that I had to include it.?

More Free Training! And This One Is With Dr. Diane Gehart. Yes, Really.

by Chris Cantergiani on April 17th, 2023

At the risk of sounding like a total nerd, I have to confess that one of the things I have enjoyed the most about my MFT program is reading the work of Dr. Diane Gehart. Her textbooks are fantastic. She’s just about to release the 4th edition of “Mastering Competencies in Family Therapy” and the 3rd edition of “Theory and Treatment Planning in Psychotherapy”. I’m on her email list and just got this invitation I can share with you for a live lecture called “Introduction To Postmodern Therapy” on Tuesday April 25th 3:30 to 5pm EST. It’s technically a Zoom thing, but don’t fret - you won’t be on camera. Hope you’ll join us!

Tips On Mental Toughness From The 2018 Boston Marathon Champ.

by Laura Williams on April 17th, 2023

For runners, today is a big deal. 30,000 athletes will make the journey from Hopkinton, MA to The Boston Marathon finish line in a legendary race. Five years ago Des Linden had a particularly good day and took the prize. In this article she provides 7 tips for how to have a winning mindset and achieve success, no matter your goals. Wicked awesome!

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