...all the way in

Let love in

.....all the way in

Not just some of the time, but as often as possible & deeply.

If there has been one overarching life lesson this year, it’s been this, even though there have been a few that run a close second.

Julie Vorzimer Bender (1964-2019)

Letting love in, when allowing so many other emotions run the show that would make more sense, has allowed me to become more myself. 

I lost a dear friend this year.

On her final day, I spent nearly 10 hours in the room with her son and brothers, with neighbors & friends stopping by to pay their respects.

Julie would have hated that. If you knew her, you would understand why. 

She didn’t like people just stopping by. She was funny like that.

We were all talking around her, above her...through her.

I couldn’t take it.

And so...I let love in.

And asked if we could gather around her and pray.

Somehow I channeled Clergy through me...and told her all about what she meant to us and the world she created for all she loved.

I spoke about how life was going to be without her with us.

And asked that she watch over us, find her way to us and greet us when our time came.

Somehow, don’t ask me how, I found a way to say what everyone was feeling and thinking.

I let love in.

All the way in.

It saved me that day.

And everyone in the room it could.

Her brother thanked me, deeply, for that day. It didn’t take many words for me to know exactly what he meant. 

It was special. 

Sometimes when I pray, I ask God to “use me” in whatever way I can make a difference...just reveal the way and I’ll do my part. 

I remember driving to the hospital having no idea what I was walking into. 

Would Julie be conscious? Would I get a chance to talk to her? The answer to both of those was no. 

And I found a way to love her deeply and fully on that last day. 

Love heals.

Love frees.

Love allows.

Love bonds.

Love connects.

Love loves.

Let love in ??

Xo,

Ilyse