"All Up In My Business"

Have you ever had a micro-manager? Today's letter writer has and it's getting to them.

Dear Heidi,

I am a fairly senior team member, having worked at my company for 5 years, with a 20+ year career. You'd think at this point I'd know how to deal with issues like the one I'm about to ask about, but apparently not.

Recently, my team acquired a new director. We get along fine, but what I've been finding is this person has been micro-managing me like crazy! I think what's been making it worse is that previously, I had a lot of autonomy. My manager would generally let me take the lead and only when I went to them with questions, would they make some suggestions. But this new director, to whom I don't even report to directly, I might add, has been giving me step-by-step instructions on how they want work done.

The effect is that it's making me question my role on the team. Sometimes I feel like I'm just doing someone else's bidding instead of contributing in any meaningful way. And I'm starting to feel quite resentful about it. I've spoken to other team members and they have expressed the same concerns. What can we do about life under this new director?

Signed,

All Up in My Business

TL;DR Version

• Consider why someone may be micro-managing
• Talk to your manager about it
• Talk to your director about it; you may need to meet in the middle

Dear All Up In My Business,

Nobody likes to be micro-managed, least of all people who have been doing their job their own way for a long time. Those younger in career might appreciate being given more direction at the beginning, but even they prefer to be given the reins so they can eventually show their capabilities.

Once again, let's start by giving your director the benefit of the doubt and assume that they don't realize that they are being micro-managerial; they are simply trying to be helpful in a way that they have always done so, perhaps both in the workplace and in their personal life. It's possible that no one has ever complained about how they give direction, so they have no awareness.

Let's look at some reasons why someone might be micro-managing:

• Anxiety: iI this person is anxious by nature, knowing exactly what's going on might help them manage these feelings.
• Perfectionism: This person may have a very specific notion of how things should be and anything less can be upsetting to them.
• Pressure: It's possible that your director has pressure on them for the team to perform in a certain way; there could be a lot on the line for them - and the rest of the team.
• They're Accustomed to Doing: If your director is used to being an individual contributor, or perhaps comes from a start-up environment where they've worn many hats, they may usually be the one doing the tasks and not used to letting other people drive.
• Specificity: Your director may have a very specific idea in mind of how work should be conducted and therefore feel that the only way of executing on that plan is to give detailed instructions.
• A combination of all or some of the above

As in most workplace cases, you may need to meet your director in the middle, at least at the outset. And unsurprisingly, communication is the key. Perhaps your director is someone who needs a detailed plan in order to feel comfortable. You can get ahead of them asking by summarizing the steps you're planning on taking to deliver on work. This is a good practice anyway and probably something you're already doing. The difference is that you'll be sharing your plan with someone else.

Checking in with your director on a regular basis to give them a status of where things are at may assuage their feelings of not having control. This is a good idea anyway as going too far down the wrong path can waste a lot of time for all involved.

Even if you don't have any updates to give in terms of your work, checking in socially can sometimes help give your director some peace of mind. It's a way of saying, "I'm here. I'm acknowledging your presence too. All is well.

Finally, if you've tried these techniques and you're still feeling the weight of your director's vigilance, it's time to have a frank discussion. But just as in a previous letter, avoid accusatory language. Specifically, don't tell your director that they're micro-managing you! Let them know that autonomy is important to you and ask them about their working style and what level of communication they prefer. If it turns out that they really enjoy collaboration and like to be hands-on, you may need to consider making changes to the way you work.

By the way, since your director is one level removed from you, you'll want to speak to your manager first. They are likely the one to report directly to the director and will have more insight to their behaviour.

If you have a pressing concern about work, send me a private message. We'll work together to anonymize your letter before it's published.