All the training in the world can just fly out the window in a moment of despair.

My son Jack and I had just finished up a trip to Costco and were headed home to prepare for a family BBQ at the house. As we were nearing our exit, I looked over at him and he had his head buried in his phone. I commented to him that at some point he was going to have to put down his phone and experience everything he is missing when his attention is focused on these ridiculous videos he watches. A classic 1970s Chevy pulls onto the freeway to my right pulling a ski boat. I slow down so I can merge into the right lane to exit at the next exit. I follow the boat down the exit focused on these speaker looking things hanging from the cross bars. I was thinking to myself, “wow is that really eight speakers right there? This must be the “party boat”.”

As we approach the stop at the bottom of the exit, I fully expect this “party boat” to turn right and head back towards the valley. Much to my surprise, it stays in the left turn lane ahead of me. We come to a stop as he yields to others in the intersection. Once he proceeds through I come to the stop. As I am sitting there, I am admiring some ATVs in the trailer of the truck to my left as it takes its turn through the intersection and heads back to the valley. Once it is clear, I look right and see a Chevy Tahoe yielding to me in the intersection so I take my turn. As I turn to the left, I get a little panic feeling and look back to the right to make sure the Tahoe wasn’t moving. It isn’t so what’s the white flash in front of me? By the time I realize it is another truck running through the stop sign on my left it’s too late. Almost instantaneously, I feel the collision, the air bags deploy and that’s when chaos ensues.

In what I can only describe as slow motion, I look over at Jack and see he is fine. He hasn’t really realized what happened yet. In my mind I am thinking, this is just a little fender bender, so what is all this smoke in the cab of the truck? Smoke is billowing out of both door pillars. Jack starts screaming, “I’m so sorry Dad, I love you, I am so sorry”. I can only muster some reassurance that we are ok and that nothing is his fault! My phone starts ringing, it’s OnStar announcing that the air bags deployed and help is on the way. The other driver approaches Jack’s window asking if we are ok. He assists Jack out of the truck and suggests I pull over to the side of the road. Meanwhile I am still in this fog and smoke. I cannot undo my seatbelt because it has synched down so hard on me. OnStar is asking questions, they put the CHP on the phone. I cannot open my door. I just want to get out of this truck. The CHP dispatcher is asking me where I am and what happened. I look in the rearview mirror and see a CHP officer already pulling up. I tell the dispatcher an officer is already here and she acts surprised and keeps asking me questions, I tell her I need to get out of the truck and can’t talk to her.

Finally, some sort of sense returns and I manage to get the seatbelt released, unlock and open my door and kind of stumble out into fresh air. Jack hands me his phone and says: “I called Emiliano and asked Shadra to come get me.” I tell Shadra we are ok and that we do not need her to come down but was thankful for the offer. The Officer approaches and his first question to me was not: “are you ok?”, rather: “do you want a report, the other driver doesn’t care.” I really didn’t know what to say other than, “yes?”. He tells me to stay where I am and goes to get info off the truck. He returns and asks for my license and registration. I hand it to him, then he asks for insurance. I tell him that it is on my phone and I have to go get it out of the truck. I return. Clearly fumbling with my phone, I am shaking and finally get the card pulled up. He copies the info down (although I don’t know how since I am holding the phone and it is shaking – probably all blurry). He asks if I would like to make a statement and I tell him exactly what happened.

Once my thirty-second statement was done he asked if I wanted to drive home since it is around the corner or have my truck towed. I am still in this fog and just say: “well the air bags are in the way, but I guess I can just drive home.” Then he tells me that Jack should be sitting in the rear seat until he is twelve and to be careful when pulling out.

I just stood there for what seemed like forever and was trying to process what I felt like I probably should be doing versus what he is actually telling me to do. Sensing my hesitance, he steps out into traffic stops the cars driving by and gives me a nudge. Ok, that’s that I guess. Jack gets in the back seat, I get back into the front seat and we finish our half-mile journey home. At this point I am starting to think of all the things I should have asked or should have done. But I am still in this fog of disbelief and shift focus to getting home to get the groceries put away.

It wasn’t really until I called into GEICO that I realized what a horrible job I did immediately following the crash. In no particular order: what was the other vehicle? Ummm a Ford F150 I think. It was pretty crumpled. Ok did you get the license plate number? No. Ok, what was the other driver’s name? Ummm ? Did you happen to get their number? Ummm ? Did you get their insurance information? Ummm ? Did you take any pictures at the scene? Ummm ? Did the other driver make a statement? Ummm ? What did they say happened? Ummm ? Ugh – FAIL! What happened to all the checklists and accident procedures that I have learned or even the volunteer fire fighting training I did or the first responder training? All of what I have learned and read just went right out the window.

While none of us want to go out and “practice” an accident, this experience really made me think about the training and processes in which even the most basic of businesses operate under. Book or computer based training and education cannot replicate real world experience and on the job training. I have often felt that the number one strength I have to offer as a Lecturer is the sharing of real world experiences, both success and failure, that I have endured as a business owner. However, even through the sharing of these experiences and knowledge, many will go onto make similar mistakes or experience similar success. At some point, I hope, there is that “ah ha” moment where someone thinks, oh wow, now I get it. Sometimes it takes that experience to make everything come together.

This experience has made me realize how unprepared I am for life’s mishaps. Of all the people in my family and small circle of friends, I never thought I’d be the one that would fail so miserably at this basic exercise of collecting information from an accident. I have always looked at myself as the rock, the heady one, the one that stays calm and collected. Boy do I have some work to do!