All Those Little Things

It's an early Saturday morning, and I'm sitting at my desk listening to the rain fall. Feeling the remnants?of a passing hurricane, the wind is whipping like some rhythmic music that is slowly putting me in a trance. In this trance like state, I can't help but think of all those little things...

Let's face it. Most of us overlook the little things. But it is my contention, that the little things mean the most. In every relationship in my life {both professional and personal}, I try my absolute best to be mindful of the little things. I fall short on many occasions, but I try. But what I am really saying is, make that deeper connection. Take the time to say please and thank you. Listen to not only their words, but their energy. Celebrate?not only their wins, but become their anchor during turbulent times. Because many times when we need the big things, people will come out of the woodwork to help. Not always, but a lot.?

People cut us slack on a daily basis. Let us not overlook the love. You know when you lose a family member, and you have a packed house at the funeral? In the days to follow, the ones who continue to check up on you are your people. They are the ones who do the little things that add up and make your life easier. They show they care, in all those little things they do. You can't just hit the "heart" emoji on social media and expect to be connected. And I'm not down playing the importance of that either. But what I am really trying to convey is human connection.

I work ungodly hours. My wife is disabled, but by the time I finish my day {usually 12-18 hours}, she has cleaned the best she could, has done the laundry, and my lunch is packed for the next day. And most importantly, she reads my energy. She knows if I need to talk, or if I need a minute to myself. Little things that show love. Little things that bind us together.?

When I provide couples coaching, I am surprised by just how disconnected we truly get. Please and thank you stop. The the little flirtatious acts stop. We coexist instead diving deeper into each other. I once heard a line in a movie that said "You know all those little boring things that you have to do with your partner? Well right now someone is dying to take your place and do them with your partner." I've seen it a million times over 36 years of mental health. That guy or girl waiting patiently in the corner of your spouses office, yeah, they are just waiting for you to ignore your spouse one too many times.?

We should not do little things out of fear. We should do them not only because we're polite, but because we truly want to be, and to stay connected to those around us. I work in a small office full of women. They would tell you that not only do I listen and let them vent, but I often buy them coffee, wine and donuts. Why? Set aside the fact that they are truly exceptional human beings, but I generally have love for them and I am so glad they are in my life.?

Little things are big. Hell, I know lots of people who would probably give me a ride if I was sitting on the side of the road. But I know few who show up day in and day out and do the little things in this dance of life for me. And that is what I am talking about. Show me, choose me day after day. That is the essence of love. These are the people that I would walk through Hell for. These are my people. And they're mine because all of the little things.?