All or Nothing

I recently saw the film “Nyad,” about swimmer Diana Nyad’s multiple attempts to swim the Straits of Florida in the early 2010s. Aside from the story full of dopamine-rich moments and a flood of emotions, I could also identify patterns that I see in some of the people I work with who face challenges in reaching their goals.

It’s no secret that extraordinary results require extraordinary behaviour. This can go in two different ways. Outstanding professionals reach unusual results because they employ a combination of extra work and various abilities. Most of the time, they are also supported by their ambitious personalities. Every impressive outcome I am familiar with has been the result of remarkable focus, an incredible amount of work, and multiple attempts to keep trying. Because we only see the end result, it's easy for us to assume that it happened suddenly or easily.

One of my coaching clients told me about a dream he had of launching a live online course with 1,000 participants. He already had a plan outlined, which included the topic, structure, and promotion strategy. He had experience with other courses as well but with a lower participation rate. He started promoting his course and had 120 paying participants. He went live, delivered, answered the questions, and received feedback, of which 90% was exceptional.

Throughout our coaching sessions, he kept mentioning the incident, and I could feel the regret attached to his words. When I asked him what was wrong, he responded that the course did not experience the success he had expected. “If it did not fly from the beginning, it never will,” he said. Although I was very surprised, I kept asking clarifying questions: “What do you think was wrong about it?” “How did you feel during the course?” “How impactful was it to get such a huge amount of positive feedback?” His attitude was full of disappointment that he did not reach his initial goal on the first attempt. He decided not to deliver it again.

Many ideas start as trial and error and then progress to their highest potential. Progress happens over time after multiple iterations, significant improvements, and energy are put into the process. While this concept sounds obvious, most people ultimately give up on their goal only because it did not deliver its best from the very beginning. This all-or-nothing attitude eliminates the opportunity for progressive development.

The following are some insights I have gained from experience that have helped me shift my mindset from “all-or-nothing” to recognizing shades of gray.

• I start with a test. I use the big goal as a final destination, but I test a simplified version of it that I call “MVP,” or “the minimum version of the idea that can validate its potential.”?

• I set myself ready for testing. This step involves accepting from the beginning that a specific number of trials may be required before analyzing the progress and the possible need for amendments. After a significant amount of data, I can then make a relevant decision.

• I nail the expectations. I set the expectations according to the test philosophy: some tests work, and some tests fail. If it fails, it has to be after I am convinced I did everything in my power to make it work.

• I value the need for support. I work with a support group or a buddy to hold me accountable and help me feel safe to share the diverse emotions I might have during the process. Not giving up does not mean never thinking of giving up, but constantly choosing to go on.

• One step at a time. I design steps chronologically based on the success of previous ones.

• Learning is my fuel. I focus on the lessons I learn, regardless of the success or failure of a single step.

• I embrace the probability of failure. I have an endless list of daring ideas. Some of them will fail, so I need to figure out which ones will not.

• Joy is also my fuel. I do something that I love to get energy from the process, not only from the results.

• I understand my subconscious dynamics. I identify and work with my fears, my tendency to procrastinate, and my lean toward self-doubt.?

• I play on my superpowers. I choose doing instead of overthinking. Action has always brought me closer to where I want to be than just thinking about it. I prefer regretting something that I tried, not regretting I did not try it out.

Many people have great ideas. Most of them have the capabilities and resources to make these ideas work. Still, only a small percentage manage to start working on these ideas, persist in the process, and succeed in the end. Having a great idea and delivering excellence on a great idea are two entirely different concepts that require different skill sets.

What are the best practices that, in your experience, are effective when ambitious goals are not supported by relevant mindsets and skill sets??