All by Myself

There has never been a time in recent memory where people feel more alone.?So, in the age of Facebook, Instagram, Zoom, iPhones, and a host of devices to keep you connected to people around the globe, why do people feel so disconnected and lonely as never before? We’ve been in an extraordinary era of isolation and required to socially distance, mask up, and work from home so it makes sense that loneliness has now become a pandemic all on its own.

Recent findings suggest that one in three Americans reported that they are experiencing severe loneliness during the Pandemic.?While the news media has focused on the daily COVID infections, the number of hospitalizations and deaths from the disease, they have largely ignored the people who have overdosed, committed suicide or whose risk factors of severe medical issues or death skyrocketed from the feeling of chronic loneliness.

Is this escalation of people feeling alone and lonely because they’ve had to stay home or are there other factors at play??I think loneliness is exacerbated because people feel that although they have connections, those connections are superficial and not meaningful. ??And their unhappiness is often magnified because their lives lack purpose and direction.?

So how do we start to help ourselves and others fight the feeling of being “all by myself”??Here are some thoughts?

Become better listeners.?In this age of texting, tweets, and posts, we seem to have lost the ability to have a conversation and really listen to what the other person is saying.?An active listener allows the other person to share, then processes what they hear and responds with questions to drive the conversation deeper.?Loneliness is reduced when we feel like people hear us and our connections are meaningful.

Share with someone you trust.?If you are experiencing depression and feelings of loneliness, it’s never a good thing to keep those feelings bottled up.?Find a trusted friend or family member and confide how you feel.?Explore solutions and ask for connections.?If there is nobody in your life that fills that role, consider seeking professional help so you can process your feelings.

Find a way to extend yourself.?The happiest people I know find a way to give back, volunteer and help others.?This gets you out of the house and back into the world connecting with others that need your help.?It may also provide insight to help you put your problems in perspective by understanding that other people’s problems may be much more profound that the ones you are struggling with.

Reach out to someone that may be struggling.?You probably know someone that you think is at risk of experiencing isolation or loneliness.?Take the time and reach out to someone that is living alone, has health problems, has gone through a bad divorce or breakup, has lost their job or is elderly.?Offer to come visit or just simply invite them out for a walk and when you do that practice active listening skills, so they feel your level of interest in a meaningful connection.

Set aside time for things that bring you joy.?You may enjoy walking in the sunshine, playing pickleball, walking the dog, or admiring interesting artwork.?Whatever it is, get up, get out and do the things that make you feel alive, joyful, and connected.

Loneliness is the gap between the connections and relationships you have and the ones you want to have.?Research indicates that chronic loneliness has the same impact on your health as if you smoked 15 cigarettes a day.?Let’s push the topic of loneliness into our conversations with an eye toward finding a way to get and stay more connected, especially in the service of others. Loneliness is both a mental and medical health care crisis that should be addressed with the same passion we have exercised to fight the virus. ??