TO ALL MY LINKEDIN FAMILY

To all my 2,3434 LinkedIn connections. I would like to thank each one of you for inviting me into your network, it is an honour to be connected to all of you. You have become my friends and family on this wonderful and mature platform. Now, while we’re in the spirit of family, I have TWO SPECIAL REQUESTS that I would like to extend to all of you. And perhaps I should start by introducing myself in case – to those who don’t know me.

My name is Lunga Mhlongo. I am from Middelburg, Mpumalanga, South Africa. I have a child who suffers from Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). Now, coming from the above-mentioned place, autism is still a foreign term that confuses even our medical people most times. And I’ve experienced that first hand and it was the most frustrating thing ever.

I noticed from age one and a half that something was off with my son. I visited different kinds of doctors each month, but none could tell me what was wrong. Then a year later, at last, my son was finally diagnosed.

But the only thing I got from the doctor who diagnosed him was the name of the condition and that I needed to take him to therapy. And mind you, that was the first time I had heard of the term ‘autism’. He didn’t tell me what type of autism he suffered from or its level, as some of you may know that the condition has three levels; level 1, level 2, and level 3, or can be classified as mild, moderate, or severe.

Seeking and finding help for my boy proved to be an impossible task because everything I was advised to try never worked, even therapies. I kept going back to the doctor to tell him I wasn’t breaking through, he treated my case with such complacency, like I wasn’t doing enough or committed to helping my son.

It was offensive and insulting. I read every autism piece of paper and material that I could find and tried everything that was suggested in them, but nothing worked. I wasn’t winning, no matter how hard I tried. My son was diagnosed at 2 years and six months, by the way.

It took me a while to learn that the reason he was not being helped was that I was given “generic methods” to use.

What do I mean by generic methods?

I mean that every booklet, pamphlet, and autism material I read was designed for only one type or class of autism, and it wasn’t the one my son suffered from. So, that’s why the “manual” never worked on him, hence becoming generic.

Look at autism like this: I like to use cancer as an example because I find it easy to help explain autism better. Cancer is broad, right? And there are different types of cancers as I am sure we all know. Imagine suffering from breast cancer and a doctor giving you pamphlets on lung cancer to “help you understand” cancer better. That wouldn’t make sense, right? Why? Because you don’t have lung but breast cancer.

DISCLAIMER: Now, please note that I am no medical expert, but I do believe that even though both these are cancers and might possibly have similarities here and there, that doesn’t mean the whole treatment would be the same from start to finish. Unfortunately, that is how things are with autism, therefore, other types of autism end nit being treated, handled, or taken seriously. The information, approach, and intervention are all one size fit. And unfortunately for me, that “one size-fit all outfit never really fitted my son. I needed something that would be tailored for his type of autism and level, and It was clear then that the only thing I need to do was discover it myself, and I did.

What I did from there on

I turned my son into my university, my case study, my subject, and my lecturer. And I turned myself into a student with a very big appetite for learning. This learning curve started in 2014 to date. As I learned about my son’s type of autism, I discovered a lot of things and phases about it- things no one told me about. Like entering an aggressive and violent phase at a certain age – age 10 to be more accurate.

In 2018, however, after he (my son) turned 7, he entered this phase I’ve just mentioned. Although I had already known that it was coming, with him it came a little earlier than normal. I expected it when he turned 10. I wasn’t prepared for it as it was a total ambush on my part.

I watched my son turning into a little Hulk, beating the crap out of his nanny to a point that she resigned. With nothing else to do, I left my full-time job where I worked as a Food and Weight Management Consultant at Dis-chem Pharmacy to come and help him transition sort of smoothly into this phase.

With the nanny gone, I became his substitute “punching bag”. He tried to beat the devil out of me too, but sometimes being his mom meant I had some sort of right to retaliate. But not before I sustained a spine injury and a broken wrist.

How long this phase would last differs with an individual’s severity. So, one cannot really tell. It could be months, a year, or even years. Quitting my job became a double-edged sword because I suffered severely financially but eventually recovered.

But something else also happened. I took all the time I had to learn everything I know today about autism. I started digging as deep as my shovel could and I discovered some amazing hidden treasures.

Now what?

This year I decided to start a blog. I decided I wanted to blog about what I have discovered to help other parents like me, so they don’t have to go through the turmoil I did. I’ve been to hell and made it out alive, and in one piece (although I sustained some major cracks), but I’m still in one piece.

Thank God for that. Now, this experience can drive a parent to all sorts of dark places. Believe me, I know, I’ve been to some of them myself, but I needed – had to survive so no one could sink.

Now, let me re-introduce myself again. My name is Lunga Mhlongo. I am an Autism Blogger, and my alter ego is The Autism Guide. I call myself that because I serve other parents as a guide, so they don’t have to get lost like I did. You can call me a teacher, a scholar, or an educator on the subject. It’s all the same, trust me because I am all these things and can do all these things too (and I don’t mean to brag).

What I ask from you

I would like to plead with all of you to please, DO FOR ME JUST TWO THINGS: support my blog. You don’t have to like it, especially if you don’t know about autism or are not affected in any way either directly or indirectly. Trust me, I won’t be offended if you’re not my target market, but I can bet you this: you each have at least one person for whom this is. And by being my Partners and Conveyor Belt, you can help me reach those parents because I cannot reach them all by myself. ?

All I ask is that you read my blog, like it, comment, and share it on your other socials. The second thing I ask is for your financial support.

How do we do this, Lunga?

You can either make a once-off or a continuous donation of $10 in my Ko-fi to my account. My Ko-fi account is linked to The Autism Wall’s account.

But why do we need to donate?

Remember I told you I am from a place where autism is still a foreign language? I want to change that. I speak autism not only fluently but have become a native speaker and would like to teach it to others too. There is something that I am working on that I cannot tell you right now in case I jinx it because the plans are still in the pipeline.

This plan leads to the comprehensive autism center I want to start that would help children like mine. Of all the available autism schools and whatnot places, my son was always rejected because there was nothing that he could do by himself.

We feed him, we bathe him, we dress him, and we even help him in the toilet. And many of these places told me that he needed to at least be able to do something by himself. And as a result, my son does not go to any school or daycare, and I want to change that.

I want to build a place that won’t be prejudiced toward his impairments and challenges. I want my boy to be at a place that would help him learn and improve where he lacks, not a place that would reject him because he lacks somewhere.

I want to build a place where children who suffer from the same type of autism can be helped as best, as deserving, and not less, even though autism is expensive to treat and manage. I want to build a school that would accommodate all autistic children despite their shortcomings because I am going to be there for each one of them. I want to do this for our children and for my boy because they deserve it, and they are worth it too.

My son's name is Okuhle Destiny Mhlongo. He was born on the 2nd of April (World Autism Day), 2011. He suffers from level 3 Autism, and he doesn’t just have autism but also has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).

Coincidence? Hell, not. I don’t believe in such. I believe in fate (destiny), and this is his and mine.?My boy can see, he can hear, he can walk, but he is non-verbal. This is all for him so he can have a future and a respected life.?

?Now that you know my plea

Will you help me? Do I have your support? Do you promise to help me by doing what I asked? Can I actually count on all of you? Then I will see you all in my Ko-fi spot and I’ll be sure to order myself a cup while waiting for you because you’ll be paying, right?

It would mean the world to me and all other parents if you would all agree. And thank you for taking the time to read this.