ALL MY BEST: Respect is Earned

My first job after graduating from college was with an organization called United Synagogue Youth.?It was an exciting opportunity, in large part because I had been a “USYer” as a high school student – it kind of felt like transitioning from a player to a coach.

A major component of my job was planning, recruiting for, and running a 3-week annual summer bus tour.?This tour, which was known as “Wheels,” included over 80 teenagers and a half dozen staff.

Needless to say, it was a fairly large undertaking for a wide-eyed, relatively inexperienced professional.

A week prior to the first Wheels tour that I directed in the summer of 2002 (a journey that took us from Los Angeles to Vancouver and back), I conducted an information session for the campers and their parents.

I felt good heading into the session.?I had spent the better part of a year mapping-out our route, booking hotels, planning fun activities, and hiring an engaged staff for this cool adventure.?I could truly tell you what we were going to be doing on any given hour on any given day of the trip.

In part, that’s why I was thrown for a loop when one of the parents asked me, “How are you going to keep over 80 high school students in-line during this trip??I mean, you look like you just graduated from high school yourself.”

I was about to lead a nearly month-long trip with 2 busloads of teenagers…and I had been so focused on the logistics that I hadn’t stopped to think about how I was going to lead the trip, not just execute on it.

In a moment of forced authenticity (as I hadn’t planned to answer a question like that), here’s what I shared with everyone in attendance: “I believe that respect isn’t automatically given.?Just because I’m the Director of this trip doesn’t mean that your kids should respect me.?Just because my staff is older than your kids doesn’t mean they should respect them.?My promise to you is that we’re going to be kind to your kids.?We’re going to listen to them.?We’re going to be there for them.?By leading with our actions, I know that we’re going to earn the respect of your children.?And, it’s that respect that will ultimately allow us to have a safe and fun trip.”

Two amazing things stemmed from that moment:

1.?A tone was set for how the staff was going to engage with the campers during the trip.?That tone resonated throughout our 3-week journey, and we ended-up having a phenomenal and memorable experience with each other.

2.?I inadvertently (yet luckily) set a standard for how I was going to treat my colleagues throughout the remainder of my career.?Simultaneously, I set a standard for how I expected to be treated by my colleagues.

It’s all about respect.?And, respect doesn’t come from one’s title, tenure, or accomplishments.?Respect is earned by how we treat each other.

All my best.

-Matt