All I want for Christmas is for Santa to pay my tax.

With Christmas coming this year I am reminded that Santa Claus lives and works in his factories in the North Pole, not in the United States. I propose that the United States impose a 25% tariff on all gifts delivered by Santa Claus within the U.S. And use the proceeds to pay down the national debt. I have substantial legal arguments to justify this.

In the Movie “Miracle on 34th Street” the Court ruled that Santa Claus does exist. Largely based on the authority of the U.S. Postal Service. Evidenced by the delivery, by the US Postal Service, of the mail addressed to Santa Claus, in court to the defendant. Thus Santa Claus is a recognized entity of the Federal Government.

This is not the only imagined entity recognized by the U.S. To paraphrase numerous court cases, including the Supreme Court in the 1800s, “Corporations do not exist, except in contemplation of law”. Corporations exist because governments recognize them for the powers they are granted by law.

We as accountants make this possible because of the “Entity” principle, established in the 1,400s, that guides our Profession. For example, one human could have 34 businesses, and each of them will have a separate set of books, and those are reported to the Government separately on 34 Schedule Cs.

So if you think I am being ridiculous to propose taxing Santa Claus, I think you are being ridiculous to thinking that all these imagined legal entities have a moral responsibility to pay taxes.

The truth is that the only thing that pay taxes, are humans. Not birds, nor bees, nor the land humans live on. Humans create entities as fantasy or as practical ways to effect productive living. We can imagine that they are paying tax, or have an obligation to do so. Just as I can imagine Santa Claus paying my taxes this year. But in reality they are our cumulative imagined entities, and can only act as surrogates for the humans they represent.

To be fair I wrote to Santa again this year and I am including Santa’s rebuttal to my proposed tax: “Tariffs look like a flat tax to me, because it is one rate. Looking closely, it is only on objects of consumption. In comparison, the rich consume little, and save a lot not subject to the tax. I have always tried to give gifts to the poor who need it every day; and not just at Christmas time. This will interfere with the process of my giving.”? And I must say, he also called me a Grinch.