...it is all about how we show up.

...it is all about how we show up.

Over the past two years, I have been doing some deep work on understanding myself, my choices and learning to focus more on how things make me feel.

With this, I have come to the conclusion that so many things in life are pre-determined and that many things happen for a reason.

Now, this doesn’t mean that we are powerless passengers in life, quite the opposite actually. What I am beginning to understand is: it is all about how we show up, and even about if we show up (or not).

When I reflect on major milestones throughout my life so many of them felt like I was existing through them as a part of some master plan that had already been set out for me. Even if this wasn’t the reality, when I take that perspective on it I can then allow myself to focus on other things.

If the pathways ahead of us are predetermined, if there is a possibility that we cannot control everything, then we can focus on how we show up.

What I mean by “showing up” is that we can pay more attention to the moment and be fully present. We can allow ourselves to feel far more because our senses aren’t taken up wondering how we got there. All we know is that we are there, at that moment and whether it is a positive and meaningful experience is determined by our choices in that moment (how we show up).

I realise that some people may be about ready to check out on this article at this point, you may think that I have lost the plot. That is perfectly fine. In fact, I was only ready to process this type of possibility very recently.

Here is what it does mean to give yourself permission to believe that many things in life are predetermined:

  • You can focus on the experience and how it makes you feel.
  • You can hone your instincts and be more awake to why you are there.
  • You can stop worrying about whether you are on the right path or not.
  • You can embrace the moment.

Here is what it doesn’t mean:

  • You don’t have control of your choices.
  • You can just ride it out.
  • You won’t be able to influence the situation.
  • You are just a cog in the machine.

When I reflect on so many life situations there are a three things that really stand out to me:

  1. If I had to force it, it rarely worked out the way I’d hoped.
  2. If I didn’t engage and just “let” it happen it rarely worked out the way I’d hoped.
  3. If I showed up fully, paid attention to the way situations made me feel, they usually worked out the way I’d hoped.

Like anything in life, if we try to do too many things at once, we invariably end up making a sacrifice. If we try to drive the car, pay attention to traffic, read a message on our phone or hold a conversation, then one of those (maybe two) will need to suffer.

If we expend less energy wondering why things are happening, and just accept that they are; then that is one less thing we are trying to do, we can then divert that energy to the experience itself.

If you made it to this point, thank you. If you don't like the path you are on then it is time to focus on how you show up. To borrow from the old saying "if you don't like where you are, move, you are not a tree."

I’d love to know if I am alone in this, if I am, that is ok, if I am not, then let’s talk about it more.

Have fun.

Sammi Jaeger

Coach | Speaker | Facilitator | Mindset | Relationships | Leadership | Entrepreneurship

3 年

This part here Dan Williams: "If I had to?force it, it rarely worked out the way I’d hoped." - I feel like this is where the magic is, knowing how much time, money and energy to give an idea before letting it go. The sweet spot of moving it along but without force. Sometimes I think I make things harder than they need to be, maybe I need to feel like I've earned it? Great article.

Megan Fraser

Experienced HR professional with people and customer experience at the heart of everything

3 年

Great reflection Dan. I will never forget a powerful “equation” that someone once told me. E (event) + R (response) = O (outcome). In other words, you cannot change many “events” that happen in your life – but what you can change is your response or reaction to each one – whether that to be to embrace it, learn from it, reflect on it, take responsibility for it, ignore it (whatever the case may be) – this ultimately impacts the outcome. In other words – we have more control than what we think.?If you want to be more successful, respond in ways that produce more success ????

Sheilah Hogan Casey

Certified EOS Implementer Australia | EOS? | Expert Business Advisor working with entrepreneurs and their leadership teams to run smoother, healthier and grow faster.

3 年

‘If we expend less energy wondering why things are happening, and just accept that they are…we can then divert that energy to the experience itself’ - so beautifully articulated Dan Williams! The power to witness and to be present is the practice or ‘control’ we should be seeking.

Desmond Russell

Chief Partnership Officer @ PartnerElevate | Channel Ecosystem Building

3 年

Dan, let me add … possibilities are endless yet limited by how we choose to work with them. Let me explain. When we look to what the possibilities are and we bring judgement which is usually based on a past experience then we turn off the possibility tap. We operate from a place of fear , fear of what we don’t know instead of what we already know. We open up more possibilities by removing judgement of ourselves and focussing on what we know, we know. Think about it!

RENEE RUSSO

The CEO Whisperer with an Exit Strategy Edge! Exit Wise Practice Lead | Certified Exit Planning Advisor? Expert EOS Implementer? | CEO Peer Group Facilitator Brand New Author | Keynote Speaker | Mom & Friend

3 年

Love this bro! I'm working hard to focus on what is most important, let the universe take care of the rest, trust the process and just do my part to perpetuate the game of life. If it is a constant learning journey, the less I resist and the less I try to control the process, the better the results.

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