All good things start with heart

Since childhood years we learn fairy tales and these can create great expectations that get damaged by human sabotage along the way. In School or at work, there will be those who are sensitive, while others are not. So we clash with one another and yet many don't defend themselves against these situations. So they feel the sting of defeat and despair. Even so, there are times when sorrows get turned around. Consider how many children acquire a strong sense of humour as a defence.

They ease the tension, because laughter is a form of medicine. Without social skills, we get more aches and pains and nervous tensions and panic attacks and irregular heartbeats, too. If we learn that there are ways to improve ourselves then we make positive adjustments every single day. We get a routine to help us sleep better. We vary the routines of everyday life. We study here and there, watch funny films, enjoy sit-coms and nature documentaries and so on.

However, if we really get deeply sensitive about something, it's hard to shake that off. It's no wonder that we pray to God for some sign of blessing. Any sign of blessing at all. Even half a blessing is better than none. Perhaps we like that song called Count Your Blessings and that Bing Crosby song about that as well. Or we study songs and learn to memorise the lyrics. If not, we may just whistle a happy tune. Or just go to YouTube and find our favourite songs and artists there.

From my years of life experiences, I'm not the best taker of good advice, because I do take everything to heart. I do, I do, I do. However, I'm a believer in what you win on the swings you lose on the roundabouts. I can look back on my sorrows and see some changes that turned things around. Decades of unemployment yet still writing some romantic poems. Decades of being a single guy yet still writing romantic poems. I've known poverty yet I've still survived it. Bad health yet I've still survived it. Disability problems, too, yet I'm still here strong and solid.

I like random acts of kindness from others as well as myself. Kindness changes people's lives as well as their hearts. We can't expect others to give a damn if we don't either. Even so, we're not here to live in a homemade protection bubble or home sweet home at the expense of those who are sick, homeless and starving. I couldn't donate to charities for decades, but it's different now. I know the good that donating does, just like volunteers do, when they don't get paid, yet they still do what they can for others less well off.

Helping others changes us, too. A real sense of purpose come into our hearts. It's not like we're all cheerleaders who are as agile as athletes or contortionists. Just the act of a simple short prayer changes things. We don't have to be as strong as Samson or as wise as Solomon to do a little good now and then. So I find solace in sensible solutions being applied. I don't try alcohol or drugs, I just think things through and wait for better times ahead. I know they're ahead of me, so I just stay patient... I meditate on ideas and write poems. If others appreciate these poems, then I feel my life is the better for that. Perhaps you have golden opportunities despite sabotage and setbacks. I know that I've been writing for about 40 years and I'm still hoping for good things. But if not writing, I'd be just as interested in reading other people's ideas, life hacks, tricks and tips.

So continue as you are while thinking of ways to vary the usual responses you get when sorrows come your way. Death and disease exist, yet while we live, we may gain blessings beyond these that prayer grants us when nothing else does. War comes and goes, yet there's the Poppy Appeal we can support to help those who have suffered to spare us suffering, too. We may pay taxes, yet maybe by saving money using a discount code we improve our finances. Maybe then we can donate, when we'd never have done so before.

We need to focus on positive goals, think positive thoughts, stay busy and socialize a lot, based on things you have found to be helpful to you, but to what extent have these approaches helped if you still feel uncertain and wounded? I also think that positive goals and thoughts have great value, so I’m not disagreeing with you. It just seems likely that there is something missing from this approach - that positivity and being distracted with activities and socializing are not enough.

People who take things to heart are often serious, sensitive, and self-conscious. They invest too much of themselves in other people and in the outcomes of situations. Maybe you are like this, maybe you are not. I think finding the answers to “why” questions about ourselves is over-rated. Most of the time, “why” doesn’t matter, and spending time pondering it is the mental equivalent of masturbation. You are who you are. You can choose to accept this, or you can choose to change. Neither of these options depends on understanding why.

If you want to stop taking everything to heart, stop putting your heart on the line for everything. Take your life and yourself a little less seriously. Learn to laugh at yourself a tiny bit. Discover the fine art of being zen. Don’t stop caring, care a little less. Or accept that you are a heart-forward, balls to the walls kind of person who puts her core into everything no matter what, and take pride in that. Cheers!