All are Good; Many are Stuck in Bad Behavior

We are all worthy, and we all deserve love despite our behavior. Now, our conduct does determine how people treat us, but that is outside of our worthiness. We are worthy of love because we are a being of light and love, whether we believe that truth or not. Bad behavior is changeable, but we have to become aware of the cause of our reactions to situations. 

By realizing that it’s our behavior that may be causing the situations we find ourselves in, we awaken to the possibilities that we can alter our conduct. This awareness empowers us to create the changes we need to make in our lives. 

How we got to this place actually doesn’t matter. We are not looking to blame others or ourselves. What we want to do is recognize that we don’t want to be in a particular situation and take responsibility to make the changes we want to see in our lives.  We are all worthy of living fabulous lives. Still, we must stop participating in bad behaviors that harm our wellbeing and our happiness.  

Being stuck is a position few of us like. We want something new but cannot let go of the old - old ideas, beliefs, habits, even thoughts. We are out of contact with our own genius. Sometimes we know we are stuck; sometimes we don't. In both cases, we have to DO something. ~ Rush Limbaugh

Bad Behavior Keeping Us Stuck

The first bad behavior that keeps us stuck is playing the blame game. Growth never comes when we first look to assign fault. By blaming others, we give up our power to change. By faulting ourselves, we play the victim, usually a victim of the ego. Blame is a tool the ego uses to keep us locked in the negative thought process instead of moving forward with our lives. 

Another bad behavior is believing the past is an indicator of the future. This belief causes a fixed mindset thinking that your characteristics and capabilities are innately fixed and can’t be changed. However, this is a lie of the ego. You can grow, adjust, and choose differently by shifting to a growth mindset. 

Being too competitive is also bad behavior, especially when we have to prove to others that we’re better than they are. This conduct can be unsupportive of other’s contributions as well as keep us from cooperating. Competition is an act of comparison which causes disconnection from one another and leads to undue conflict. 

Finally, and maybe the worst offender of bad behavior is the monkey mind. This Buddist illustration of the unsettled, indecisive, and confused thought process the ego uses to keep us under control. To keep us from taking risks and growing into our authentic selves.   

There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist or accept the responsibility for changing them. ~ Denis Waitley

Habits that Feed Bad Behaviors

So the bad behaviors that keep us stuck are fed by five habits listed below. 

1.   Perfectionism is a form of fear the ego uses as a barrier to our authentic selves. It puts expectations that are difficult to achieve, causing disappointment, and therefore enabling complaints. When nothing is good enough, then happiness can never be achieved. 

2.   Dependency on alcohol, food, work, or shopping to make us feel better instead of dealing with our emotions is another bad habit that keeps us stuck. We need to put aside the dependency so that we can deal with the underlying pain. By doing so, we can move forward. 

3.   Procrastination comes from fear. It’s a habit of purposely looking for distractions instead of tackling a situation. It’s a lack of planning or avoidance from making a decision. Look into why you delay taking action and what underlying fear is at work so you can overcome this tactic of the ego to keep you from doing something purposeful. 

4.   The need to be in control arises from the ego’s desire to stay safe and know what’s coming next. But in reality, being controlling doesn’t allow the synchronicities of life to move us towards our dreams. 

5.   Martyrdom is giving of yourself so that others admire your commitment and selflessness. But this is a fa?ade. You’re doing so that you feel better about yourself. Or the ego having you volunteer all your time, so you don’t deal with something significant in your life.  

Don't be stuck in a life that's not yours just because of a bad habit. ~ Constance Chuks Friday

Breaking the Cycle of Bad Behavior

The five dysfunctional habits are all ways the ego uses to maintain your bad behaviors and keep you feeling unworthy. They are used to relieve feelings of stress. They can start by being self-defense mechanisms that help us for a while, especially when we are young. But most of the time, they become harmful. 

Usually, we are unaware of the negative thought patterns these habits create, nor the feelings behind the bad behaviors.  These are automatic reactions to the situations we find ourselves in again and again. We don’t even think of them as choices we are making every day. 

Since these habits and behaviors provide the ego with immediate gratification by reaching for a cookie or yelling at someone, we aren’t aware that we can pause, take a breath, and respond consciously.   

Awareness of the cycle is how it is broken. Mindfulness is the discernment of the current state; it is fully conscious of the present moment. This consciousness is the origin of possibility. At every moment, many paths lead forward. Awareness helps tell you the correct one to take that will break the cycle of bad behavior.

Nothing in life, including our circumstances or potential, is fixed. Reality is bendable to our will. ~ Brendon Burchard

Creating Sustainable Change

Now that you are aware and realize that you are choosing to react by using bad behavior, you can promptly respond differently. You can develop a plan of action when triggered by stress. You can write out your strategy in a journal that also can be used to explore your feelings safely. 

You need to take responsibility for your thoughts and feelings. Don’t deny what you’re feeling. Emotions are neither good nor bad; they are. We need to sense the moods, but we don’t have to react to them. Yes, some feelings are harder to deal with, but we must. Otherwise, they haunt us and feed the bad behaviors. 

Adjust your mindset. Your brain is like a computer, and you can reprogram it by feeding it encouraging data instead of negative information. Over time the empowering data will delete the damaging self-talk that’s filling up your memory. Focus on life-enhancing thoughts so that you can create the life you desire. 

Be open to ask and accept help from those around you. The ones who love you will want to support you in making a change that supports your growth. Your support system can provide words of encouragement, a different perspective, and the love you need to expand your horizons. 

What people have the capacity to choose, they have the ability to change. ~ Madeleine Albright

Moving Forward

Overcoming bad behaviors that keep you stuck, you must look inward and unearth the feelings that feed the five habits that nurture it. To move past these behaviors, you must become aware of them. Take responsibility for your emotions by feeling them so they can be released. Reframe your thoughts to empower you to make the changes you want. And be willing to ask for help and support by those that love you. Through these conscious actions, you will no longer be stuck in bad behavior. 

Choices may be unbelievably hard, but they’re never impossible. To say you have no choice is to release yourself from responsibility, and that’s not how a person with integrity acts. ~ Patrick Ness

As you become more conscious of your emotions and become aware of your thoughts, you can overcome bad behavior. If you would like to receive more informative and mindful articles right into your mailbox, fill this out. 

Do you need support to get unstuck? Do you want a strategy to help you overcome the ego’s limiting beliefs and live authentically? If so, please, contact me, and we can put together an action plan for you to create the life you desire.