All that glitters is not gold

The wonderful William Shakespeare once coined this phrase and it feels very apt today

I've had some lovely comments recently saying how happy I look and how I seem to have life under control.

Well, it’s true that I’m happier than I can remember being in a long time but you know what, that took time! And some days are still harder than others.

It’s the same with my diet, exercise, and business - some days I’m on cloud 9, feel like I’m smashing it.

Then boom, the next I feel like a fraud, an imposter, like it will cave in around me at any moment. Those days I definitely eat more and I give myself absolute permission to do so!

I haven't always - I used to punish myself with food and the gym, torture myself if truth be told.

And in those days, I NEVER would have been able to cope with what I have over the last two years.

Behind the scenes, I have had what can only be described as an absolute shit storm!

But those happy smiling boys - they have been the centre of my world and are the reason I keep smiling-and shouting ??

The thing is, I have come to realise that I have determination, strength of character and I know that no matter what, I will always be OK.

I used to need validation.

I was afraid of loneliness, of not being liked.

I looked confident on the outside but was lost on the inside.

But I’m dealing with that and not afraid to admit that I’ve had help in doing so.

Because whilst we all know what we need to do-we all know that our thoughts are often irrational, we often cannot move forward without the right support.

I provide that support for my clients so when I recognised I needed it myself, I would have been doing them an injustice if I ignored it.

Yes, I put it off but like I said on Friday, in the end, it just took one single action that gathered momentum.

I am still work in progress, we all are.

But each day I grow, each day I learn, each day I laugh and some days I cry.

One thing is for sure though, I am no longer going round in circles. And the best thing I have learned is that no-one really gives a damn how I look or how I live my life so I am going to do it my way!

I'm going to have fun just being me - the me I am today, not the one I was!

Happy bank holiday Sunday xxx