All ‘Giving’ is NOT the same

Contemplating the right gift for someone is a challenge for many of us this time of year. But is it really the ‘right gift’ or the ‘right reason’ for our giving?

We ponder questions like- Will they like it? Is it a fit for the person I am giving it to? Is it good enough? Will it make them feel special?

Then there are those of us that think of one or more of this kind of question: What did they give me last year? Did they even think of me? Why should I give them something so expensive when I received a $15 Item from them last year? When was the last time they reached out to me? Will they even care?

In college, I joined a Yogi group. After school, I would make my way to the ‘house’ of the yogis’. They taught me how to meditate, the reasons behind a vegetarian diet and how to ‘give’.

One of the exercises we had to do was to pick something that was of value to us. As a college kid, I did not have much to give of high-value. However, I did have a pendant that meant a lot to me. It was one that I found in the depths of a market in the high elevation city Baguio in the Philippines.

My learning was to give this pendant to someone without any expectations. It was more difficult than I thought- but it was then that I learned how to truly ‘give’. It also taught me that giving is not always limited to objects. In our work environment, we might give away a helpful suggestion, our time, or go out of our way to help someone with a workplace hurdle.

There are those that ‘give’ in the workplace but have an invisible scoring board of who gave what to whom. And how many times have I done something for someone? We usually use this scoring system to feel confident that when the time comes, we can ask them for something because ‘they owe me’.

The biggest challenge is that others have no idea you are keeping score on your giving. So, when it’s our turn to ask, we have expectations of them and, sometimes, disappointments when they don’t deliver.

When giving, whatever it might be, give because you find satisfaction in the giving without expectations. 

This might be a hard exercise for you…as it was for me. Like anything else, practice makes perfect. So, practice ‘unconditional’ giving this holiday season and every day in your life.

The best of the Holidays..from my family to yours! ...Angel Rampy