All about failure. Or is it?

On Saturday afternoon, I sat (actually I was unable to stay seated) at Wembley Stadium, and experienced one of the worst feelings imaginable as a football fan.?My team, Coventry City, lost a penalty shoot-out.?

For those of you not au fait with the details of English league football, this match was a winner takes all final match to try and gain promotion to the Premier League.?And after 98 minutes of normal time, and thirty-odd of extra time, it all came down to this. Penalties.?

One kick to ensure a return to the proverbial ‘top table’ after 21 years out in the cold. Finally my team would be written about consistently in the media and feature on Match of the Day. Perhaps people would stop asking me why I supported Coventry. We would be back, ahead of schedule, playing the likes of Tottenham or Chelsea or United week in, week out (and in all probability losing the vast majority).?

After 5 successful penalties were taken?by?each side, the Luton player calmly slotted the sixth. It was sudden death and Coventry needed to score to stay in the match. I watched as Fankaty Dabo, a substitute who had come on late in the game, began his walk from the halfway line to the goal. Here was a man who has one solitary professional goal to his name, walking towards an orange wall of baying Luton Fans, to take what has been described as a ￡180 million penalty. I looked up on to the big screen, as the camera captured Fankaty as a tiny figure in the middle of the pitch, all alone whilst surrounded by?85,000?on-lookers.?

I felt at that moment that he was going to miss. And miss he did. High. Wide. And ugly.?

It was over – and my thoughts turned immediately to leaving the stadium, getting away from the incredible tension that we had collectively been through for?the last?2 ? hours, and getting back home.? The WhatsApps arrived thick and fast – commiserations and crying emojis – as friends and family knew it was too soon for memes and jokes. On the train I couldn’t stop obsessing over the failure – we were one kick away from ‘success’. One?more?goal in normal time could have avoided penalties and led to the ￡180 million jackpot. And I was gutted. After everything the Sky Blues had been through to get to this point,?climbing from the bottom of the league last October over the course of an incredible season,?and only making?it into the playoff places as the season ended. It had all come to nothing.

But had it? After a few days of reflection, I look again at ‘success’.?

Success was a season like no other in the 21st?Century. Success was seeing a team come together and play?beautiful?football. Success has seen a loyal talented manager get the recognition he deserves (and sign a new contract!). Success was living on the edge of my seat every match day towards the end of the season – barely able to believe we might be in the playoff places. Success was our?goalkeeper scoring a goal against Blackburn in the 95th?minute to keep us in the hunt. Success was overcoming Middlesborough to get to Wembley. Success (on a very personal level) was managing to get a ticket to the final?(thank you Anna and Dave).?

So perhaps on balance this failure was… a success??

And if we take this into LinkedIn cod-psychology world – maybe there is a lesson here about redefining success. Even if you don’t hit all of your ultimate goals in a project, there can be so many successful moments to celebrate. And if we miss these, and obsess about not having hit the original target,?we?are left with feelings of despair and desolation – rather than the utter joy that all of those other ‘wins’ should bring.?

PS Love you Fankaty xx

#PUSB #CodPsychology