With All Due Respect...please Shut-Up!

With All Due Respect...please Shut-Up!

“The way to get started is to quit talking and get doing.” – Walt Disney

Throughout my career I’ve encountered a common and widespread problem in business. Regardless of the company size, industry, or geography; this is a prevalent issue. It affects morale, productivity, and engagement. Moreover, it affects sanity…it’s maddening.  This crucible that we have all dealt with in our professional lives?  Some people just don’t know when to shut the hell up. 

This isn’t me being cynical or venting about an annoying behavior (well, maybe a little). Like many other diseases or disorders, sometimes simple recognition of the issue starts the path to recovery. (For the medical professional reading, this condition does have a clinical diagnosis: diarrhea of the mouth.)

I’m not quite sure why this occurs. My experience and observation has shown that some folks like to play the role of devil’s advocate…all the time; even when they have no idea what the counter argument actually is. Others just ramble to show everyone how smart they are.

Outside of lectures or presentations, I'm sure at some point you have participated in a meeting where one person clearly dominates the discussion. That person may have even been you. While folks who tend to dominate meetings are usually smart and passionate, their dominion often negatively impacts the group. It squelches other perspectives and stifles debate. What is our normal behavior when this happens? 

We sit there politely hoping this never-ending diatribe has a conclusion.

We nod our heads in agreement just so they stop talking.

We look around to see who else wants to run upstairs and jump off the roof.

We contemplate excusing ourselves to use the restroom, but instead envision pulling the fire alarm.

Even if you do nothing, you check out. There’s nothing more frustrating than being held hostage by a non-stop talker. It’s distracting and irritating. Unfortunately, people can't wait to leave even if there is more work to be done.

It’s obviously frustrating and leads to negative feelings, so what can we do about it?

As a leader you need to step up and take control of the meeting. Respectfully end the soapbox diatribe. If you let it continue, then you are partly enabling the behavior of someone who won’t shut up. 

Stay engaged in the debate and ask for others opinions. 

Set ground rules for every meeting before they begin. This sets up an expectation that you want to balance participation. Occasionally enforce this ground rule during your meeting.

Park it.  Sometimes known as the “Parking Lot” rule, this is a place you can put items that come up that you don’t have time to discuss at your meeting.

Address the behavior directly.  Approach the person privately and give them feedback in a way that encourages them to listen more during the meeting.

I attempted to provide a little humor to address a real behavior that absolutely has a negative impact on the workplace.  Please feel free to share with the windbag in your office.

To read previous articles written by the author, please click below:

https://bit.ly/1mlVGui

https://bit.ly/1md9mby

https://bit.ly/1WMU9hl

https://bit.ly/1iUGja2

Jaime Capifali Cruz

Preproduction Manufacturing Content Management Professional

8 年

Ah, it's good to put humor to this corporate epidemic. I think many of us have been guilty of this. Recognizing it within your own behavior is half the battle!

Thomas De Brun

Corporate Solutions Trainer & High Performance Coach

9 年

You have to give Dave Kipe credit for practicing what he says. This article takes less than 60 seconds to read but has a very clear message.

Danny Ray

Associated Steel Corp. Regional Manager

9 年

I've seen it, we all have. The hand goes up, cause that same person has something to say again and all around the table eyes glaze over.

Swadhin Mishra

Head Sales & Operations Planning

9 年

Real stuffs . which we face in day to day work life.

回复
Duane Burrow

Erosion and Sediment Control Professional, Soil Scientist and Development Planner

9 年

Been in many a meeting that no one was willing to put anything out for consideration because it would be never be implemented. Then I have been in meetings where it was just complained and after revisiting the same issues I would try to get to some form of an action plan started. Also after many meetings with no action the outside forces began giving us action plans that had no input from the professionals.

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