Alignment Thursday: Embracing Cultural Roots: A Journey of Self-Discovery and Professional Fulfillment
Soundtrack Suggestion: Newroz – Nubian
Every year, as Newroz or other significant festivals and holidays deeply anchored in my cultural heritage approach, they serve as meaningful reminders of my roots and identity. While it's commonly understood that professional and personal matters should remain separate, it's undeniable that our cultural background and ethnic roots can profoundly shape our career paths and development.
Why is this? My personal journey unfolded amidst the strong contrast of two distinct worlds.
One, predominantly German, emphasized the pursuit of academic excellence, career advancement, and starting a family. The other, deeply rooted in my Yazidi-Kurdish heritage, prioritized early marriage, homemaking, and familial duties as the top of success.
While my parents emphasized the importance of attaining a German education, there lingered an unspoken expectation for me to adhere to traditional roles—opting for an apprenticeship over pursuing higher education, finding a husband, and embracing the role of a homemaker.
For me, it became evident that this path did not align with my aspirations. Despite the encouragement from a compassionate teacher to pursue university studies, I found myself hesitating, constrained by both financial insecurities and the fear of defying societal norms. Consequently, I concurred, went on an apprenticeship and entertaining matchmaking endeavors (that did not work out of course).
It took me five years to come to terms with the realization that the life I was leading wasn't the one meant for me. Deep within, I had a passionate desire to pursue higher education and capitalize on the opportunities available to me as a highly talented human being.
So, I took the leap. I applied to various universities for a degree in business psychology and was fortunate to receive acceptance letters from several institutions.
However, a significant hurdle awaited me: seeking my father's permission. As mentioned earlier, it wasn't customary to leave home without being married. I vividly recall that pivotal moment, as if it were yesterday, my entire body trembling with tension. Fortunately, my father granted his consent. He emphasized that if this decision brought me happiness, he supported it. Yet, he also stressed the importance of taking full responsibility and financial accountability for my choice.
Accepting his terms, I moved to Bochum to pursue my studies, relying solely on my own resources to fund my education.
Making the decision to follow my own path ranks among the most rewarding choices I've ever made. I take immense pride and joy in charting my unique course.
However, despite my conviction, I've often struggled with the lingering effects of what I perceive as "delays" in my professional journey. At times, it feels as though I lag my peers by approximately six years, not due to any lack of ability, but simply because I started on my path later than others. I've found myself questioning whether these gaps have hindered my opportunities, leading to doubts about my CV's suitability for certain applications. In interviews, I've been pressed about these discrepancies, why I didn't pursue higher education immediately, and my responses haven't always reflected the complete truth. These delays aren't unique to individuals from specific cultural backgrounds; they're for sure also a universal experience.
Returning to the conventional notion that personal and professional spheres should remain separate, it seems evident to me that such a division is impractical. The impact of this integration has been profound and enduring on my career trajectory.
And so, a journey that started with listening to an inner calling, asserting oneself, and demanding courage eventually encounters its limits. I must confess, frustration crept in, and predictably, I found myself laying blame upon my roots and family.
Drawing from personal experience, I firmly believe that few things hinder progress more than frustration and blame, be it in the present, past, or future. It's not solely relevant to those encountering cultural challenges but extends to various other circumstances. Thus, the vital question arises: how can we effectively deal with such situations?
As I started my spiritual and Yoga journey in parallel, I sought out ideas, perspectives, and inspirations. One profound source of guidance emerged from the ancient wisdom of the Yoga Sutras, attributed to the sage Patanjali.
These revered texts serve as the bedrock of classical Yoga philosophy, comprising 196 aphorisms divided into four chapters. Each chapter explores different dimensions of Yoga practice and philosophy, offering timeless insights into the workings of the mind and the essence of Yoga itself.
Central to the Yoga Sutras are the Eight Limbs of Yoga, collectively known as Ashtanga Yoga, which encompass ethical principles (Yamas and Niyamas), physical postures (Asanas), breath mastery (Pranayama), sensory control (Pratyahara), concentration (Dharana), meditation (Dhyana), and ultimate enlightenment or samadhi.
Within the Yamas lie ethical principles guiding our interactions with the world, while the Niyamas focus on self-care and inner cultivation. From the five Niyamas, four may hold relevance to this situation:
Through practices such as mindfulness meditation and pranayama, individuals can cultivate contentment and acceptance, facilitating inner peace and liberation from negative thought patterns.
Self-study involves deep introspection, enabling individuals to gain insights into their strengths, weaknesses, and areas for improvement. Self-discipline fosters focus and perseverance, empowering individuals to manage challenges with determination.
Moreover, fostering (self)-compassion and reframing perspectives can offer valuable support in confronting frustration and conflicting expectations: Practices like loving-kindness meditation and self-reflection nurture a compassionate attitude towards one's struggles, fostering inner resilience and alleviating self-blame.
Reframing perspectives includes viewing situations from different angles, challenging beliefs and cultural assumptions. E.g. is my cultural heritage really that bad and mean? Today, I have severe doubts about that. The culture I am rooted in is full of family-orientation, music, arts, dance, the sun and the moon, colors, good food, generosity, passion, mysticism, reliability, connection and belonging...
In essence, the journey towards acceptance and contentment involves equanimity, nurturing self-compassion, and reframing perspectives to uncover the beauty and richness within oneself and one's cultural heritage.
Self-Study Questions
Practice of the Week
Cultural Heritage Journaling
?Set aside some time to reflect on your cultural heritage and its influence on your personal and professional journey. Create a journal dedicated to exploring topics such as:
By engaging in cultural heritage journaling, you can deepen your connection to your roots, gain clarity on your values and aspirations, and foster a greater sense of pride and belonging.
Happy Newroz!