"Aligning to Your Purpose"

Ah…the evasive “purpose”.? What is it? How do I find it? Am I aligned to it??

If you find yourself asking these questions, you’re not alone. As a coach I meet with many leaders who report feeling disconnected from their purpose. Somewhere during the course of their careers (despite impressive titles and professional accolades) these leaders have lost zest for what once excited them. At this stage in their careers they find themselves asking - is there more? Have I truly found my purpose? This month’s article all about purpose - how we uncover it, how we align to it, and what holds us back from our genius.?

Let’s begin by defining purpose. In the The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership authors Jim Dethmer, Diana Chapman and Kaley Klemp define purpose as living in your genius. The authors say “when you’re in your zone of genius you spend time doing what you love and what you are uniquely gifted to do. All sense of time disappears. Conscious leaders embrace their magnificence, live and work in their genius and give their gift to the world.” I also love how Bill Plotkin describes purpose as “what we’re born to accomplish in our lifetime - the numinous gift we are here to offer to the community.” I appreciate these definitions because they point to fulfillment and how individual purpose contributes to a larger collective. Based on these two definitions, I will use the terms “purpose” and “genius” interchangeably throughout this article.??

In exploring purpose, I find it's important to debunk myths about the topic that I hear often as a coach.

Myth #1 - You need to go “find” your purpose

Many people believe they need to do something or be someone different to find their purpose. Purpose is not something you need to go get. Your genius is already inside of you and has already shown up many times in your life. When I do purpose work with clients, we spend a good amount of time looking at where genius has already been revealed in their lives. Through a series of exercises (including gathering feedback to help with blind spots) we connect dots to uncover their unique purpose.??

Myth #2 - Your purpose mainly has to do with your job

Purpose reaches far beyond the workplace. My dear friend Brooks Barron introduced me to Bill Plotkin’s The Journey of Soul Initiation. In the book Plotkin describes vocation as just one delivery mechanism for our soul's purpose. When we uncover and align to our purpose, it shows up in every facet of our being and how we express ourselves. In my work with The Conscious Leadership Group, I know I’m on purpose when I use my gifts of empathy and storytelling while enabling understanding in order to support radical transformation. This has shown up for me as a coach, leader and manager as much as it has shown up for me as a? friend, sibling and daughter. It also shows up for me time and time again as a writer, speaker and filmmaker. My purpose holds ALL the parts of me together - it’s not just concentrated around a specific vocation.?

Myth #3 - Once I know my purpose…then I’ll be happy?

Uncovering our genius is only the first step towards realizing purpose. The next step requires facing and dismantling limiting beliefs that hold us back from living in our genius. Limiting beliefs are the stories we tell ourselves that prevent us from reaching our fullest potential. For instance, I often hear people say “I can’t live in my genius because I won’t make enough money to support my life”. When we hold beliefs like this as the absolute truth, they limit our ability to step into and align to our purpose. When we have the courage to face and challenge these limiting beliefs, we can actually move through the fear that holds us back.?

Still with me and want to uncover your purpose??

As I transitioned careers in my 40’s, one of the biggest unlocks for me was learning the difference between excellence and genius. In? The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership the authors reference psychologist Gay Hendricks ?and his model of 4 distinct zones of competence.

In this model I came to realize that much of my career was rooted in excellence. Excellence is what we often get positive feedback about and where many leaders get “stuck” in their careers because it’s known, rewarded and comfortable. In my zone of excellence I had reached a certain degree of success in my career, but yearned for even more aliveness and fulfillment. At The Conscious Leadership Group we often say that fear guards the line between excellence and genius. As human beings we ALL have fear based limiting beliefs that hold us back from living in our genius. I began to look at my own limiting beliefs and how they held me in excellence.

My limiting beliefs holding me back from genius:

• It’s not possible to do what I love as a full time job
• There’s a high likelihood that I will fail?
• I won’t make enough money to sustain my life?
• I will let people down and be seen as disloyal by my team

In order to dismantle my limiting beliefs I practiced examining how the opposite of each belief could be true, and quickly found plenty of evidence. Little by little as my self awareness expanded, my fear began to dissolve. I began to imagine a life where I got to spend the majority of my time in flow - where work no longer felt like work, where I could support others in transformation, where I could use my empathy and creativity, and where I had more than enough resources to do all of it. As I crafted this vision I did not have to quit my job or radically change my life. Instead I ran a series of experiments - from meaningfully expanding my scope at Meta, to applying to coaching certification, to taking screenwriting classes. These experiments provided valuable learnings and grew my confidence to move forward in a certain direction, one step at a time. Within a few years I had disproved each limiting belief and stepped into a career and life I had once deemed “too good to be true”.?

Somewhere along the winding roads of our careers we lose ourselves in a series of “shoulds”. We learn to go along to get along, to say “yes” even when we mean “no” and to seek approval as validation of our self worth. We begin to believe we are not enough and chase extrinsic rewards for temporary relief. By mid life we tell ourselves true fulfillment may be out of reach, that it’s either too risky or too late to make big changes. Instead of reaching for our most exquisite lives we start to live by thoughts like “I just need to make it through this month” or “I just need to get through one more year”. If any of this resonates, this article is an invitation to empower yourself to uncover and reconnect to your purpose. This article is an invitation to feel more free, more alive and more in flow with your gifts and genius.

What upper limiting beliefs are holding you back???

And what will you do to begin living in your genius??

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