Aligning Our Actions with How Our Nature Excels

When you hear the word nature, what is the first thing that comes to mind? Like many, I think of trees and birds. As I worked through my journey of developing a personal process, I started to expand that definition to include how I was inherently wired. What were my natural ways of doing things? Where did I find the most energy? What felt right? Through all of this, there was a lightning bolt moment where I saw how my internal nature could mirror the nature outside my window. As is my way, I started experimenting, and found that when I made intentional choices that connected these two natures, I felt a surge of energy and a greater sense of connection that rewarded me with higher quality outcomes that I enjoyed. Once I acknowledged the connection, I knew I wanted more of this in my life. Here I celebrate our nature.

This installment continues the article series, The Story of Natural Reflectors. Article 8 is from Part 2 that contains the second set of 4 articles that explore principles of how to develop one’s own process. It begins with opening the mind to the idea that there are other ways of managing the various aspects in our lives and that nature has been managing these aspects beautifully long before we were put on this earth. This part will also explore how to glean and nurture what insights nature has to offer.

I learned something about myself in my first job as an engineer. In that time, I designed a number of systems using computer-aided design. The years where I had a project on a new system, or the years we switched to a completely new software system, I was rather engaged. I enjoyed building something that had not been done before. There were other years where I was repeating old learnings in projects and it felt as if every day was the same. While to some that may feel comforting, to me it was draining.

I would often drag myself to work and sometimes felt like a failure. Was I more engaged with something new? It turns out that is something inherent to the way humans are wired. From the new car smell to the need to have the latest smartphone, humans have a fascination with the new. Novel things activate the reward system of our brains and studies have shown engaging with something new can be just as provocative as a monetary reward. This is why companies can increase sales by releasing old products with a new spin or new packaging (Swaminathan, 2008).

Whether I like it or not, I am no different and I, like a crow, am often distracted by shiny, new objects. I have said for years I want to take a class in blacksmithing just for the experience of learning something new, knowing full well I will never do it again. Just the thought of it makes me feel like a child on Christmas morning clapping my hands as someone hands me a gift. And as a child with any gift, there will come a time when the learning will lose its shine, a part will break off, and I will not be excited about it anymore.

I sat with my feeling of being drained and looked for a way through it. In my reflection, I realized there was a repeating two-year cycle. The first year was full of exploring new things. The second year was refining and mastering it to another level. If there was a third year, I only wanted to stick to it if I was transitioning out and handing something over to someone else. I didn’t always have the luxury of being able to hand things off, and sometimes I had to do the drudgery of maintenance. I would often feel the life in me draining away and considered moving to a new position. I was in a time of life where I needed to stay put, so I looked for other ways of coping. I learned in those “third years” I could relieve the stress by creating change in my life, so something new was happening.

One time, I dove into using a day planner for time management. Another, I took on creating templates for the group to streamline our work. My go-to, though, was to rearrange my office. It was something I could control and it was completely about me. I can still feel the moment of internally clapping my hands when I would walk through the office door and gaze upon the new arrangement. Even though the office was not that big, I was sitting somewhere different within the space. I would discover newness in the lighting, the sounds, and the movement of others outside the door. Each discovery gave me a small reward and made me feel alive.

This revelation about myself didn’t just happen overnight, and quite honestly, it only happened because I needed to find a way to cope with the stress. You could say I was forced to look at myself and find ways to actively make things better. Awareness of oneself is not something we often seek out, mostly because we think we know ourselves. Dr. Tasha Eurich, an organizational psychologist and author of Insight: The Surprising Truth About How Others See Us, How We See Ourselves, and Why the Answers Matter More than We Think, found through a series of surveys 95 percent of people think they are self-aware, but only a maximum of 15 percent are. Her research shows there are three main reasons why we think this way. First, we are happier when we think of ourselves positively, which can be shown through the facade of social media. Secondly, we have blind spots to any other truth. Lastly, we often spend our days on autopilot without considering what we are doing or why we are even doing it in the first place.

Dr. Eurich claims there are two types of self-awareness: internal and external. Internal self-awareness is looking inward and knowing what we value, who we want to be, and what we are passionate about. External self-awareness is looking outward and understanding what other people see when they look at us. If you interact with other people, external self-awareness is easier to come by, but that does not mean those who are externally aware are internally aware. In either case, one must be deliberate in cultivating the space to gain understanding and be brave to hear the truth—no matter how wonderful it is. This takes energy, stamina, and an eye for themes and patterns. Dr. Eurich encourages us to take the time to become self-aware (Eurich, 2017).

“Self-awareness is absolutely worth the effort, and it helps us be more confident and more in control of our lives.” - Dr. Tasha Eurich, author of Insight (Kauflin, 2017)

Coming to terms with my natural tendency to be more engaged with something new and observing that newness stayed for about two years gave me a sense of control. I could then make better decisions on how to manage my work life, such as intentionally creating change every two years whether my projects had any change or not. By being honest with myself about how what I was doing was not the best for me, I could open to the possibility of something that was better for me. I was then able to keep burnout at bay.

If this resonates with you, I hope that you will follow this weekly article series over the next couple of months as I share excerpts of my book, Natural Reflectors. The next article in the series, Value and Celebrate the Work In Progress, can be found here. The previous article in the series, Outgrowing Where You Are, can be found here.

For more information, connect with me at @jennifer.theblacklab or my website www.jenniferpeavey.com.

Natural Reflectors is published as of August 30, 2021. Here's the link to snag your own copy! https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09DFNLLDW

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Eurich, Tasha. Insight: Why We’re Not as Self-aware as We Think, and how Seeing Ourselves Clearly Helps Us Succeed at Work and in Life. United States: Crown Business, 2017.

Kauflin, Jeff. “Only 15% Of People Are Self-Aware — Here’s How to Change.” Forbes. May 10, 2017. https://www.forbes.com/sites/jeffkauflin/2017/05/10/only-15-of-people-are-self-aware-heres-how-to-change/?sh=24295cda2b8c.