ALIGN IV: Gratitude

"Is it my turn? Can I say grace tonight?!"

I watched the eager five-year-old practically burst with excitement as he bounced in his seat waiting for an answer.

"Of course!" laughed his mom.

"No, no...not Owennnnnn...." Katie, Owen's older sister whined as she tucked further in her seat. "He takes foreeeeever!"

Laughing through a smile, her dad offered," You know it's his favorite!"

Owen's big, brown eyes were not deterred from the task at hand. He gently lowered his head. Beginning slowly, he give thanks for the food, the day, his family, and his favorite toy. And then, with a little glimmer, his eyes lifted and he started to look around.

"Thank you for this beautiful couch because it's sooooo comfy. And for my socks because they make me smile. And thanks for the sun because it makes the flowers grow, and the blankets on my bed to keep me warm..."

It was as if noticing everything in his world just reminded him of even more he could be grateful for. His routine was reflective of how Owen saw the world. He often couldn't go more than a few steps without finding something awe-inspiring to catch his eye.

As they continued to eat dinner, they talked about their days. The family shared their "little wins," which ranged from raising a hand to ask a question at school, to having someone hold the door on the way into the store. As they shared, they laughed, talked, and encouraged each other.

The family's whole outlook on life was infused with gratitude and illustrates three of the qualities that gratitude invites into our lives: kindness, presence, and appreciation.

For some, gratitude comes more naturally than others. But regardless of your current experience level with the emotion, it can be cultivated as choice - a habit - that can influence and enhance your life. It not only offers an outlook that allows for growth and connection but helps provide grounding when navigating the often uncharted pathways of change.

Ready to embrace gratitude? Here are a few ways to get the grateful juices flowing!

1. Find (and celebrate!) “little wins”: As Krissy discovered in her journey, identifying a few “little wins” each day can be a powerful way to plant the seed of gratitude in our life and experience.
2. Keep a gratitude journal: A gratitude journal is a great way to chart and reinforce the loop of gratitude. If you’re overwhelmed about where to start, treat yourself to a guided journal or daily guide that can assist with prompts.
3. Write a letter of gratitude: It doesn’t matter if you write the letter to yourself or someone else, and it doesn’t even matter if you send it—although that’s good too. Part of the practice of cultivating gratitude is using words, engaging in a way that reinforces our connection to others.
4. Express gratitude or “thanks” to others: Like Owen, see what you notice when you take the time to look around. Expressing gratitude out loud can begin rewiring our capacity for gratitude and influence others tangibly.
5. Reflect on moments of sharing and feeling gratitude: Just thinking about them is a start. Earlier, I referenced the proven positive effects that kindness, gratitude, and generosity can support, but fascinating research has also proven that simply thinking about these acts stimulates the same part of the brain as actually doing them.

Choose a regular time of day when you’re not distracted. Be honest about when it’s easy to set aside time and when it would be easy to find an excuse not to do it. Start small and aim for once a day. Being realistic about your patterns and limitations can help set up success.

The practice of gratitude is a conscious choice that starts with our thoughts. As William James was quoted, “The greatest revolution of our generation is the discovery that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.”

And that's something to be grateful for.