Aldric’s Observations – “What Should I Do With My Life?”

You CANNOT imagine the number of people who asked me this question. They include undergraduates, graduates, colleagues, ex-colleagues, people in my family.

This is a ticking time-bomb. You need to understand that humans exist in societies build upon networks. We are the Sun in our social network. My cousin is the Sun in his network. One thing that Linkedin got right is the degree of connection. We influence people we never knew through a network effect.

WHEN ENOUGH PEOPLE IN OUR FIRST, SECOND, THIRD DEGREE NETWORK BEHAVE IN WAYS THAT SERVES NO BETTER PURPOSE FOR THEMSELVES, THEY CORRUPT THE NETWORK AROUND THEM.

The best advice I can give you now is to be self-aware. Observe and be able to identify the living dead. It prevents your mind from being corrupted by them. Both our minds and time is the only, ultimate, real asset we have in life.

If your network is corrupted by mediocrity and contentment, you only need to do one thing. Do your best to convert them to work as hard, if not harder than you. If you can’t, you better uproot and run.

Because the price to pay is too high. YOUR FUTURE IS AT STAKE.

Many of my Linkedin connections know my Aunt more than they know me. If any of you follow my Sunday posts, you know that my Aunt has taught me many harsh lessons when I was younger.

This is one conversation I will never forget.

“You know that story where the princess kissed the frog, the frog turned into a prince, and then they lived happily ever after? Look, stupid boy. This is a book written for kids. They have removed reality from the book so you can feel happy growing up. If you still believe this now (I am already a teen when this conversation happened), then you are incredibly stupid. In reality, that princess has kissed 1,000 frogs. It is the 1,000th frog that turned in a prince, dimwit!”

If you cannot bring yourself to kiss a frog, forget about the 1,000th one that can turn into a prince.

And this brings me to my point on WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MY LIFE. The number of times I got this question is astonishing. And all those folks chiming START WITH WHY each time you open your mouth? You belong here as well.

Telling someone that they need to START WITH WHY is not the only way to find themselves out. Let me be absolutely clear. It is not the only way. There are many more. But so many people I met, chimed this mantra repeatedly like a choir mouse are STUCK WITH THEIR WHY. They spent too much time trying to figure themselves that they completely stopped experimenting with their lives.

THIS IS THE REAL PROBLEM.

Contrary to what Gurus will always tell you, I believe that finding ourselves is a continuous improvement journey put into motion daily. Every single day counts. If you sit at home channel surfing, scrolling your social media account, and telling everyone else that you have to START WITH WHY, you are stuck in your today.

Chances are, your today is like your yesterday. YOU SPENT WAY TOO MUCH TRYING TO THINK THINGS THROUGH.

That is not how we can improve. We improve when we do things. We improve when we try new things. We improve when we experiment and fail, and then figure out how to get things to work.

I believe, like my Aunt, that every day counts when it comes to finding ourselves out and self-improvement. As I could briefly recall, she said something like this: -

“There are 365 days in a year. Imagine if you can do something to improve your current self today, indoctrinate it into your mind and behaviour, you will start tomorrow with an enhanced version of you from today. Do the same thing tomorrow, and you will wake up to an enhanced-enhance version of yourself. At the end of 365 days, you will transform to become a better person that you never know.”

And she went on to say the following.

“What happens when you become contented? Contentment is a disease to Time. When you get contented enough, you will start spending time today in the same way as yesterday. Since you punk has nothing to look forward to, you will spend tomorrow exactly like today BECAUSE you did absolutely nothing to shape for tomorrow. When yesterday looks the same as today, tomorrow, the day after, 2 months later, 6 months later – Congratulations. You have retreated to become a Neanderthal. However, young punk. I have a better opinion of the real Neanderthals than you, the artificial Neanderthal. Why? Because they hunt for their own food. You, the 20th Century young punk, will recede to become the trash of the society where you want people to pay for your meals and retirement. You better buck up and work, otherwise, get out of my house.”

Relentless self-improvement is the key to a better version of ourselves. No one knows what they should do with their life. We have to be ready for our calling when the time comes.

For full disclosure, she did throw me out of her house for being a wimp because I complained too much about studies and grades. She does not want a rotten “connection” to be around her.

This was a powerful lesson I never realized until I got to the age of reason. My Aunt surrounded herself with people of purpose and people who move. Yes, yes, yes, they know their Whys and they think but more importantly, they execute. THEY TAKE ACTION ALL THE TIME.

When I get to sit in for their Sunday morning business meetings (Yes, Sunday mornings. They are not playing with their kids. They are working their ass off.), I can SEE immense progress. There are ZERO carry forward items from last week. If they decide to visit a new location for timbre potential on Sunday, that group would have arrived at the destination that very evening.

I have never ever heard them say “AHHHH, LET ME THINK ABOUT IT.”

I never dare muttered that in front of my Aunt. I knew she will slap me.

[Photo by Jordan Opel on Unsplash]

So, as a parting note for those who are struggling with “WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MY LIFE” – I have one suggestion.

Have a structure in your daily life. Adopt a structure that looks like this: -

From 9 am – 6 pm.

Do responsible work that pays your bills, your family bills, society bills through taxes.

From 6 pm – 12 midnight.

-         Work on your oral presentation, and practice clarity in your speaking.

-         Work on your writing. Write more because writing forces you to be clear in your thinking.

-         Exercise. Go run, go swim. Your body needs the pain to grow stronger.

-         Build a side-hustle or freelance on the side. Find out what people, businesses need and try to sell them your services.

-         Network with people who have high expectations of themselves. Hang around those colleagues who are always at their desks after 14 / 15 hours of work.

Improve yourself daily. No one is going to improve you. You improve you. And once you get onto the treadmill of relentless self-improvement, you will know what you should do with your life.

You will.

Aldric