Airport Scene - Elias NADER

Airport Scene - Elias NADER

Location: Beirut International Airport – Arrival Hall Left

Thursday evening at approx. 20:00

Two airplanes arrived at 19:30, the first from Istanbul and the Second from Abu Dhabi. A third airplane from Cairo just landed.

Figure 1: Beirut Airport - Arrival Hall Left

The plane finally landed. I am back from a wonderful two-week journey in South East Asia. The flights were a bit bumpy, but transit in Abu Dhabi International Airport was great; I rented a small room in the sleeping lounge and got some rest.

Anyway, bringing back souvenirs is not my type. Well, I will not spend my budget on small things that people will most likely lose after few days you give it to them. I prefer to complete my “small museum” at home with interesting stuff I get from each destination I visit.

And this time, I also brought some exotic fruits, although I was informed that same will probably be confiscated by Airport Customs since it is prohibited to bring back fruits. Well, it is just 3 pieces of fruits. But anyway I will declare the same to the Customs. If I was able to get them through, bingo! If not, I hope customs officers will not throw them away because believe me, those are juicy fruits.

And that’s what I did eventually. Before going towards the exit, I took the red line to declare something to customs.

Airport Scene, Angle 1

Mr. S, Mrs. S and Mr. H ; Between Baggage Claim Belts and Arrival Duty Free.

Mr and Mrs. S; a young married couple; returned back from a small vacation in Istanbul, Turkey. They got their luggage, and are heading towards the exit.

Mr. H was on the Abu Dhabi plane, returning from his second business trip.

Mr. S: Sweety, let me hold the backpack for you.

Mrs. S: It’s ok honey, we will be out in a few, my brother will hold it.

Mr. S: I’m dying for your mother’s pizza by the way, can’t wait to reach your house.

Mrs. S: Do you think she’ll like the scarf I got her?

Mr. S: Of course sweety, the scarf is wonderful. I’m actually a bit worried about the shirt we got for your dad.

Mrs. S: Hahaha! I know! Unbelievable my dad how picky he is! But there is always my brother as a backup.

Mr. S: Or me. This is a nice shirt.

Mrs. S: Hahahaha! I told you to buy one, but no! You want the expensive football costume!

Mr. S: Hahahaha! You are even more cute when you are angry!

Mrs. S: Yeah right! Haha! Oh by the way! Let us get some sweets for our little boy!

Mr. S: Sure! Sweets for small S, and a “Maltesers” bucket just for me.

Mrs. S: Hahaha! Big Baby you! Come let’s choose some stuff.

Mr. S: Leave the luggage here with me and you go inside. I will wait for you here. Besides, dunno what’s happening over there.

Mrs. S: Ok honey.

A few moments later

Mr. H: What’s going on?

Mr. S: Dunno bro, it seems that this officer over there is calling someone, he might saw something suspicious with this guy approaching him.

Mr. H: Pfff! Welcome back to our shitty country.

Mr. S: Oh No! He threw the Passport on the floor!

Mr. H: That bastard! And he continues shouting!

Mr. S: I hate these people. The uniform makes them assholes. Who do they think they are?

Mr. H: Yeah. Every time I come to the airport, I witness their non-sense.

Mr. S: Pfff! Everywhere, not just in the airport! All they do is boss around. And in reality they are pure “buttkissers”.

Mr. H: This is our country. They will never learn to be humans, and treat us as people.

Mr. S: I should have recorded what happened on video and share it! What a shame!

Mr. H: Well thank God we arrived safely. That’s the important now! Are you waiting for someone?

Mr. S: For my wife actually. She is getting some snacks from inside.

Mr. H: Oh! Good luck mate! If the officer do not boss around, there is always your wife.

Mr. S: Wahahaha! See! We can’t runaway from this reality!

Mr. H: Hahaha! Have a nice evening!

Ms. S: You too!

Airport Scene, Angle 2

G, F, N and E ; Arrival Duty Free

G, F and N work as sales promoters in the Arrival Duty Free. They work on rotation. This week, G is the cashier, F and E are in the beverages and cigarettes section, and N is doing an inventory check.

F: Hey Man! You won’t believe what just happened!

G: Dude! Get back to your spot before the supervisor sees us!

F: Ah! It’s ok! Not so much passengers arriving now, the Duty Free is not that packed. Besides, I want to share this with somebody.

N: What’s happening boys? What brings you here?

F: I miss you girl, that’s why I came.

N: Hahaha! I am bored as hell.

F: Well, here I am to save the day. E just witnessed something!

N: Really? What? Tell me!

F: Our friend, the custom officer.

G: Do-not-break-the-law officer?

F: Yep.

G: Really?! What did he do?

F: E told me that he just saw him throwing a passenger’s Passport on the floor, while shouting with anger to his partner, and then he dragged the guy in the Customs office.

N: Oh my God!

F: Yes! Just as I am telling you. Our friend continues to act like the ideal officer who wants to fix the system, and he took it to another level today. He is not just strict, he can be an a**hole too.

G: Hahaha! Poor passenger, he got busted by the wrong guy!

N: Well, frankly speaking, arriving passengers are a pain-in-the-ass. They are always tired, and picky. They always want extra fast service. In fact, I was thinking of asking for a transfer to Departure Duty Free. People are surely better there. They will excited for their flights and will be more friendly.

G: But what do you think this guy did wrong?

N: Surely, he was trying to be a smart-ass like most of the people here do, so let him learn a lesson. You know, we do need these kind of officers sometimes.

F: Pfff! People are becoming crazy. Anyway, I got to go back before the supervisor sees me and starts nagging like a baby.

N: I just saw him talking with the new joiner. So don’t worry, he won’t be back soon. I am sure he wants to ask her out. He keeps on joking with her and she gives him her fake laugh. Ughh!! I really hate her!

Airport Scene, Angle 3

SA and PO ; Near the Baggage Claim Belts

SA and PO: Two Airport Janitors. It is the 6th year for SA and PO is serving his 17th year. They claim that they know every corner as well as every employee in the Airport.

SA: A plane just landed, belt 4 will be soon busy.

PO: These planes don’t give us a break!

SA: Come on, old man! Hahaha!

PO: The guys on belt 2 and 3 will take care of it.

SA: Oh God! Don’t drive us into this, they won’t stop nagging and gossiping about it for a week. Come on!

PO: Well I did not forget about yesterday, I worked my ass off arranging the trolleys, while everybody was sitting dunno where.

SA: Would you stop talking and come with me already? I heard your story a thousand times!

PO: Ah! Shut it, would you!

SA: Who’s shouting by the way?

PO: What?

SA: I hear the voice of someone shouting.

PO: It’s the officer over there, he is calling his partner.

SA: Oh! Did you see that? Did he throw this passenger’s passport on the floor?

PO: Don’t think so! I seems like the passport slipped from him. Besides, this officer is a good guy.

SA: Hahaha! You’re really get old. No officer is a good guy, my friend. You should know this better than me. All they do is joke around the airport and complain about our work.

PO: Yeah ok.

SA: This officer is bored, so he is doing the macho-man in front of this passenger. That’s what they do all day, if not with passenger, with us.

PO :And, that’s what I will do if no one will help me with the trolleys like yesterday.

SA: Hahaha, Shut up! Come on let’s go to belt 4

Airport Scene, Angle 4

Partner; Customs Officer and Officer2 ; Customs Office back room.

Customs Officer, Partner and Officer2 are serving their usual duty in the Airport in the Arrival Customs section. Partner and Officer2 are in the Customs office back room.

Officer2 is searching through the files.

Partner is trying to flirt on Whatsapp Messenger with a girl he met a couple of weeks ago.

Custom Officer is calling Partner for some reason.

Partner: “Hey you! How are things? I bet you are still tired from Yesterday’s Bachelor… My God Girl! You don’t stop moving! …” Ughhh No, delete voice message. Pfff! I can do better. Ok again. “How are you beautiful? Nice Status! You were all over the place …” Oh God No! Delete, delete. What is wrong with me?! Come on man, you are the “playa”… “Hey you! I won’t ask you how you doin’, I saw your status and you were awesome, …”

Customs Officer: HEY PARTNER!

Partner: “… how was it last night? …” Oh no! Why is he shouting! Damn it! Can’t I get this freakin’ voice done? WHAT? I’M BUSY HERE… Sh*t! Ok where was I? God Damn I forgot my last try, it was perfect.

Pfff! Let me check her status again… Holy Hell! She is Yummy! I will take you out very soon girl! Ok let’s go again. “Hey Beautiful? How you doin’? Your status rock girl! You are the Bachelor’s princess, …” No! No! Damn it! Last voice was better, damn you partner calling me ….

Customs Officer: PARTNER!!!!

- Son of a b**ch! He’s still shouting. WHAT?! WHAT?! … God damn it! He does not give me a break. I am in the middle of something here.

Officer2: Hey, Pal. Aren’t you gonna see what the officer wants?

Partner: He is just insatiable dude! The airport is barely empty, not many arrivals now. What does he want? For God’s sake! By the way, come, wanna show you something.

Officer2: Woow! Dude! Who is she?

Partner: Say Hello to my next Girl bro!

Officer2: Hahaha! You are going out with her?

Partner: I met her two weeks ago in a pub. She is my friend’s cousin. So you know, got her number, and we are chatting daily. She is still playing hard game, but not for long. I am sending here now a voice message, but this a**hole outside keeps buzzing with his shouting.

Officer2: Go see what he wants dude, there is nothing urgent now. He will shut up, you will send your voice to the girl, and then you will do whatever he wants you to do.

Partner: Ok!Ok! Damn it! I’ll be back.

Officer2: Hey! Make sure to let me here the voice message when you send it.

Partner: Hahaha! Sure! I will give you a lesson in flirting!

Officer2: F**k off a**hole! I hope he asks you to lick’s someone b*lls!

Partner: Wahahahaha!

Airport Scene, Angle 5 (Main Angle)

Myself, Customs Officer and his partner.

Like I mentioned above, I took the liberty to declare the fruits at the Customs before going to the exit.

The Customs officer calling someone loudly. I guess one of his partners obviously.

Myself: Um Sorry officer, I want to declare some goods I brought with me.

Customs Officer: Yeah, sure. Where did you come from, can you show me your passport, please?

Myself: Certainly, just a second.

As, I was handing my passport to the officer, he called the same someone again. He seemed angry. I hope this will not reflect negatively on my fruit declaration, as I heard the silly answer from his partner.

The Officer was making angry gestures with his hands while opening and searching through my passport. He appeared to be really annoyed. And suddenly, the passport took a strange hard fall of the floor.

Myself: It’s Ok. I will get it, officer.

Perhaps, this will lessen the situation and the officer will be more tolerant.

Customs Officer: Thank you, I am so sorry, sir. So you what do want to declare?

Myself: Well, I know that we should not bring fruits, but I brought just three pieces. If it is not OK, it’s fine you can keep them.

Customs Officer: They are in your big bag right?

Myself: Yes.

Customs Officer: Ok, Follow me inside please.

The Officer seemed nice, but I am sure he was in a bad mood. Damn this someone who is not answering him. I want my parents to taste these tasty fruits.

Customs Officer: Can you open you bag, please?

Myself: Sure.

The silence was again broken by the same loud angry call from the customs officer.

Myself: Here you go. These are the three pieces I brought with me.

The Officer took a quick look at my luggage, the fruits and then looked back at me.

Customs Officer: Just these three pieces?

Myself: Just these three.

Customs Officer: Well you know, that bringing back fruits is not allowed, but only three pieces, and you took the liberty to declare them, so I will let you go this time. And please every time you have something suspicious like this, you must declare it. It is for everybody’s safety.

Myself: Sure, you are absolutely right. Thank you very much, officer.

Customs Officer: You are welcome. Have a nice evening!

Myself: You too.

I was exiting customs, when another officer finally came in from the back room and started complaining. I didn’t care what happened after that. I was only happy that my fruits came back home with me.