Aim far, look close - or how to win in your resolutions?

In 2017 I started writing down 1-2 goals at the beginning of each year. It all began with my health. The stomach pain became unbearable, and all tests were OK. Unfortunately, it turned out that it was most likely stress. For me, it meant I had to slow down and calm down. Easy to say, I thought, smiling through my tears.

Specifics

I wrote in my notebook “I want to be calmer”. Well, what does that mean exactly? “This means that I will calmly respond to the emotional behavior of my children, my husband, and situations at work. I will feel peace within myself and I will get rid of stomach pain."

Ok, but how will I know when the goal has been achieved? I wrote down: "I will calmly react to difficult situations, consciously observe my body's reactions and recognize stressful situations."

Motivation? “Huge - I'm tired of stomach pains and outbursts of anger.”

So what does it all look like? Can this be done realistically? “Rather yes, it depends on me and my work on myself. I give myself a year.”

What I did was to write down my goal according to the SMART scheme.

What is SMART?

This is an abbreviation of:

S - Specific: The goal must be clearly defined and understandable. Without clarity on what exactly we want to achieve, it is difficult to direct our efforts in the right direction.

M - Measurable: The goal must be measurable. Defining a specific indicator allows us to assess progress and check whether we are heading in the right direction.

A - Achievable: The goal should be realistic and achievable. Setting goals that are too ambitious can be discouraging, so it is important that they are challenging but realistic at the same time.

R - Relevant: The goal must be consistent with our values and long-term plans. By choosing goals that really matter to us, we increase the chances of achieving them.

T - Time-bound: Specifying a deadline for completing a goal gives it a clear time frame. This motivates you to act and helps you avoid procrastinating.

Autonomy, Mastery and Purpose

Research, extensively described by Daniel Pink in the book "Drive", proves that for the implementation of goals to be effective (and therefore for the motivation to achieve them to work), we must have autonomy, we must feel the need to become better and better at something that matters? and a specific goal.

Pink emphasizes that such motivation manifests itself in goals that transcend individual gain, in words that express more than self-interest, and in strategies that allow us to pursue goals on our own terms.

Writing down my goals according to the SMART framework helped me understand what I was up against. I added a few implementation steps (including participating in a Mindfulness course, visiting a dietician, yoga once a week). No, I did not achieve my goal 100%. At the end of the year, I wrote in my summary: "I am much calmer, I can observe my body's reactions to stress. I discovered the cause of the abdominal pain and, with the help of a clinical dietitian, I established a diet. It's better :)”

I encourage you to use the SMART form, which helped me define and achieve my goals. The link to the form can be found here.