Agreeing Your Way to Burnout? The Truth Behind People-Pleasing in Everyday Life
Johanna Lynn
From Conflict to Resolution in your 1st Session I Achieve Higher Profits & Enhance Performance by Resolving Your Relationship Challenges | Relationship Expert I Founder of The Family Imprint Institute
Have you ever found yourself nodding along in a meeting when you disagreed with the direction??
Or perhaps you've agreed to plans with friends when you really wanted a quiet night in??
These small moments of agreement might seem harmless, but they can be the first steps on a slippery slope.
When we consistently prioritize others' preferences over our own, we're not just being nice – we're engaged in people-pleasing.?
And the costs can be higher than we realize:
How small moments of silence can snowball into life-altering decisions.?Start with the practice of speaking up starts with the small things.
What might be hidden on the inside for you as illustrated in this graph?
Overcoming People-Pleasing in Love and Real Estate
Lauren stood in her new living room, the weight of silence heavier than the boxes surrounding her. The low ceilings she'd ignored during viewings now felt suffocating.
"Home sweet home," her husband Mike beamed, oblivious to her discomfort.
Lauren nodded, a practiced smile masking her turmoil. This house, with its dark rooms and noisy street, was everything she didn't want.
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Yet here they were.
As a child, Lauren learned that disagreement meant disapproval. Her parents rewarded silence with praise, equating obedience with love. "Such a good girl," they'd say when she quietly accepted their decisions.
Lauren carried this lesson into adulthood, her own voice muffled by years of compliance.
During house hunting, Lauren had bitten her tongue at every turn.
Sun-filled kitchen? Too expensive, Mike said.
Quiet street? Too far from work.
Deck or balcony for reading? Its a nice to have not a must have, he stated easily while Lauren swallowed her objections.
Now, in this house that would never feel like home, Lauren realized her silence had built these walls around her. Her people-pleasing hadn't made Mike happier - it had only made her miserable.
That night, Lauren made a decision. With shaking hands, she shared her true feelings about the house. As Mike listened, confusion turned to concern.
"Why didn't you say something?" he asked.
Lauren's truth spilled out - about the house, her childhood, her fear of conflict. It wasn't an easy conversation, but as Lauren spoke, it felt easier to share, allowing her to breathe.
In a house that didn't fit, Lauren finally found her voice. She learned that true partnership thrives on authenticity, not constant accommodation.
By always saying yes, she'd said no to the most important thing: herself.
"The The Tools You Need to Stop People-Pleasing was small enough to ask plenty of questions and large enough to hear from many different people from all over the world.??I loved this.??But I think the thing I love most is Johanna’s brilliance, clarity & compassion.??
She has the uncanny ability to see to the heart of the matter almost immediately yet never rushes or intrudes.??She is a master at holding space and supporting clients in connecting to their strengths and organic resilience.??Something we all really need right now.
~ Tina
Executive Administrative Assistant
3 周Johanna Lynn Thank you for this powerful reflection on the hidden costs of people-pleasing. The story about Lauren's journey to finding her voice is especially poignant. I've seen firsthand how voicing true preferences, even in small ways, can transform relationships and career satisfaction. What strategies do you find most effective for encouraging individuals to speak up and assert their needs confidently?
Targeted Marketing, connecting brands with consumers. Proven strategies, AI Tools | Field Marketing | Communications.
1 个月If there's a 'chance' there could be a benefit, I'm prone to avoid the NO -- as opposed to considering the likely outcome being a waste of time. I face this often with these networking and member meetings -- I know I don't have the time. I know it's not likely it's going to be all that beneficial. But I usually still convince myself that it's a numbers game and eventually it's going to be worth the time... essentially I guess it's an ongoing case of FOMO :-)
Guiding $250K+ Coaches, Consultants, and Agency Owners to Scale to $1M in An Intimate Community of Luxury and Abundance | “The Perfect Time to Create Your 7-Figure Team”
1 个月Agreed. People pleasing can be a slippery slope. It can become the norm so easily. Thanks for the reminder Johanna Lynn!
I turn stressed out, overworked workplaces into havens of cultural connection and productivity through holistic wellness programming. | The Thriving Wellness Business Owner | M.S, C-IAYT
1 个月This is a big one Johanna Lynn. One could argue that burnout begins here...saying yes when no is the right answer.
Speaker | Purpose-Driven Strategist & Coach | Empowering Ambitious Education & Healthcare Leaders | Impact, Income & Influence Architect | Martial Arts Student
1 个月This is so insightful Johanna Lynn, I never thought about nodding along to burnout - but it has happened to me. What is the best first step to start saying yes to me and no to stuff I don't want?