Aging Like Fine?Wine
Amy Porterfield & Marie Forleo (screenshot from DCA)

Aging Like Fine?Wine

Part 3 of 48 Life Lessons for My 48th Birthday. Enjoy!


26–33

In Part 1, we?covered:

  • planning epic vacations
  • simplifying beauty routines
  • negotiating to win
  • owning your story
  • leading lady energy
  • apologizing with grace
  • delivering memorable compliments
  • bargain shopping like a pro
  • buying a home
  • knowing your strengths
  • knowing your triggers


In Part 2, we?covered:

  • leaning into your biorhythms
  • adulting 101
  • creating community
  • gardening basics
  • starting a business
  • learning a language
  • hiring a coach
  • having children
  • writing a book
  • taking a cruise
  • prioritizing your needs
  • major events
  • meditation
  • gambling


This week, we are covering the following:

  • investing in life
  • taking care of the little things
  • advocating for yourself and others
  • finding balance
  • loving what you love
  • when enough is enough
  • what comes easily
  • managing complexity

Enjoy!


26) Investing in?Life

We want to take a trip that would probably cost $100,000 or so. We don’t have $100,000 or so. Yet when I look back at my life, there was an opportunity to invest $100,000 or so that came up nearly every 6–7 years, and when we said yes, it always led to something better.?

I don’t want to say it was evolutionary, but the paths not taken define your life as much as what you do. You’ve got to be willing to bet on yourself, and you’ve got to be ready to bet on life.


27) Taking Care of the Little?Things

One of the first investments in entrepreneurship I made after leaving corporate life behind was Marie Forleo’s B-School. At the time, I knew nothing about affiliate launches, but in reading reviews, it was apparent that was the way to go.

After considering a handful of others, I picked Amy Porterfield’s bonus and realized it was a several-weeklong infomercial (gah, she sells effortlessly, and I defy you to resist), which led to DCA.

The program aims to teach you how to create and sell a course using webinars or masterclasses to build demand. Sounds super simple, doesn’t it?

But let me share a partial list of what got in the way for myself or others in my cohort:

  • No tech experience
  • No tech setup
  • No place to record or go live
  • No hair, nails, skincare, or makeup
  • No lighting
  • No wardrobe
  • No expertise
  • No audience
  • No marketing, sales, or communication skills
  • No confidence
  • No website

This is a backdoor way of sharing my point: to take care of the little things as you go. It seems silly to constantly worry about everything, but that’s not it. Instead, keep yourself ready. Or get yourself ready.

Because to take full advantage of the opportunities that will inevitably come your way, it can’t be a panic-fueled moment that leads to a realization that you have to do 100 things first to be in a position to say yes.

You know what’s holding you back right now. Is it skills? Beliefs? Self-image? Connections? Visibility? Committment? Habits? Logistics?

Start taking it seriously now. Make improvements and investments now. Believe in where you’re going. Take care of the little things, so you can be ready for big things.


28) Advocating for Your Rights (Human?Rights)

This seems instinctive, but we all need the reminder to advocate for ourselves, our loved ones, and each other.

When (if) you have kids, your perspective resets, and you are reminded to advocate, whether with healthcare, education, or otherwise because you can see the opportunities and limitations so clearly. And kids are so easy to love! Instinctively, you know everyone should get a fair shake. But life isn’t always fair…

Sometimes when I don’t feel like picking a battle, I remind myself it’s not just for me/us; it’s for everyone facing the same fight.

I can’t take it all on, but I can take enough on to move the needle, and if we all do that (not just moms), the world gets better.


29) Finding?Balance

Devote yourself to self-improvement in the “what you love” category.

Work/life balance, everything in moderation, pursuing your dreams, surviving or thriving — there are so many ways to live your life and spend your time.

But one of the most fulfilling ways is to choose a handful of things you can return to that you love for the purest of reasons. And by doing them, you’ll find balance.?

They are an outlet for your best self to emerge. You’ll demonstrate love or appreciation. Your commitment to getting better will inspire others. Their flow state will offer a reprieve that takes you out of your day-to-day, transcends the To Do list, and ignites your soul.


30) Read All the Books, Drink All the Wine, Hike All the?Hikes

Taking balance a step further, double down on rituals or activities that stimulate you in life-affirming ways and narrow it down to three that you can’t get enough of. Three that aren’t dependent on other people.

For me, that’s books, wine, and hikes; I could do all three endlessly throughout my lifetime without tiring of them. What are those things for you?


31) Decide Enough is?Enough

Decide when it’s time to let go, opt out, pivot, or quit. Yes, I’m talking about jobs, roles, and careers, but also relationships, habits, and beliefs.

Remember when we talked about meditation being a resource to examine which thoughts are serving you or not? Be discerning about what you make room for in your life. Do not fill it unintentionally.

And further, if it’s time to cut ties, do it and move on. Decisiveness is a prerequisite to trailblazing leadership.

I remember when I was a new manager. My SVP confided that my talent wasn’t in question, but my decisiveness was. She needed to know that I could choose after consideration, not deliberation. And move on without second-guessing myself.

Developing that skill didn’t only make me a better manager; it made me a better leader, executive, entrepreneur, wife, and mom.


32) Set an Expectation that Everything Comes?Easily

Look, lots of things are hard. Some are beyond your capabilities. Some are so foreign that although they aren’t hard, they feel impossible to wrap your head around. Ignore all that at first blush, and decide anything and everything has the potential to be easy.

This is a life hack that will serve you more than you know. The earlier you get the hang of it, the better.

Dreading something, writing it off before you even try, or psyching yourself out adds another hill to climb before starting the main climb. Sometimes, what’s in your head, how hard you think it will be, is worse than the actual thing.

Empower yourself with the belief that most things come easily to you. Further, prove it by starting with that conviction and doing it without heavy emotional baggage.

Do you know who tries hard things or does hard things, or makes incredible feats look possible? The person who goes for it. That’s it. It’s not magic.


33) Learn to Manage Complexity

For most people, life becomes increasingly complex despite their efforts to simplify. But their problem-solving and management of the complexity stays basic.

Managing complexity comes with the territory if you have high expectations and good intentions. To respond thoughtfully and fully capitalize over time, having a go-to process for managing complexity that is flexible, iterative, and applicable to various circumstances will make you more resilient and, interestingly, more content.

Recognizing cause and effect, intended and unintended consequences, and long-term perspective and solutions are essential to sustainable success. Complexity will feel like a delicious story problem instead of stress or overwhelm.


  • To be continued… (more midlife life lessons next week!)

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