The Ages, Stages and Questions of Life

Men past forty

Get up nights

Look out at city lights

And wonder

Where they made the wrong turn

And why life is so long.

(Ed Sissman)

As one journeys further in life, there is an increasing awareness of the span of life and of one's own mortality, and what one has or has not achieved relative to what one would have hoped or wanted to achieve.?

Daniel Levinson writes in “The Seasons of a Man’s Life” that life is a journey of ages, stages and eras, including the mid-life transition from Early Adulthood to Middle Adulthood that occurs around the ages 40 – 45, aligning with the poem penned by Ed Sissman, called “Men past 40”.

There is inevitably an overlap between the stages, a liminal period of transition of 4 – 5 years, where “what was” is fading and “what is to be” is still becoming. During this time a man or woman looks back on how they have been doing in various areas, such as career, relationships, spirituality, and lifestyle, whether goals have been met and values have been lived out (or not). It is a time of celebrating and grieving and letting go, whilst at the same time prototyping potential futures, and letting come.

The more positively one engages with this, it becomes a mid-life transition, where an old life structure is dismantled and a new one is created, laying a firm foundation for a meaningful, significant and stable next stage. However, some men may want to avoid the reality of this stage and not face answering the questions it asks, and around age 50 end up have the stereotypical “mid-life crisis”, rushing out to buy a Porsche, hitting the gym and replacing their wife with a younger "model".?

Life is not a static state, much as we would like it to be, but is characterized by phases of creation and destruction, re-creation and renewal. Just as there was an earlier transition from youth to young adulthood, there is a much later transition from middle to late adulthood, which happens around 60 to 65, which is the transition I am making, and the impetus behind this article.?

Increasingly, the questions become more existential, including facing life’s unanswered questions such as “Why am I here?”, “What is the purpose of life?”, “What is the purpose of?MY?life?”, What will my legacy be?“, and "What happens after I die?”.

If you are over 40 and experiencing feelings of disquiet, feeling like you are stagnant or stuck in a rut, now might be the time to start engaging with the questions of this stage .

Rather than go it alone, you could reach out to someone who has made the journey, who is in fact one stage further ahead, and who can support you to make this pivotal transition in an intentional manner.??Please schedule an Exploratory Chat on my?Booking Page and let's talk about it.

As a professionally qualified executive and leadership coach I have worked with hundreds of leaders over the last 15 years, passionately supporting them to close gaps and identify opportunities in their leadership practice, turning awareness into the wisdom and action to live and lead with radical humanity. I am also exploring supporting others to answer the questions that life asks.