Is AGEncy? the Chicken or Egg of Confidence?
As you may know, I’m writing a new book, Today, I'm working on a chapter that delves into the relationship between AGEncy? confidence. Which do you think comes first? Are we confident because we exercise our AGEncy? Or is it the other way around?
I’d love to hear your insights. And if I'm asking you to share yours, I'll start with one of mine.
Years ago, I gave workshops on Confidence for the University of Hawaii. We met for three consecutive Saturdays. The assignment for our first session, (yes we had homework - smile) was to reach out to someone you wanted to meet and bring back a success story.
I’ll always remember Tony walking into our classroom the following Saturday, grinning from ear to ear. I asked, "Tony, what is making you so happy?"
He said, "Sam, I'm an engineer at Pearl Harbor Naval Base. Most nights after work, I head to Ala Moana Beach Park for a run. I usually do two laps, about four miles, clockwise.
For the last couple months, there’s been a very attractive young lady who runs the same route, counterclockwise.
I wanted to meet her, but?that little skeptic who lives on my shoulder would pipe up with 'Nah, If she wanted to run with somebody, she already would be.' I never had the?confidence to speak up because I’d convinced myself she wasn't interested in me.
Last Monday, I had an excuse because of your assignment. So, when she ran by, I said 'Hi.' She said 'Hi' back.
Wednesday, here she comes. I said, 'Nice evening, isn't it?' She said, 'Sure is."
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Friday, there she is. I said, 'Mind if I run with you?'
Guess what she said? 'I thought you’d never ask!' ?
We've agreed to run together three nights a week. And do you know what I realized?
If I hadn't initiated, I’d still be running one way and she'd still be running the other way."
Benjamin Disraeli said, "Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action."
Know what I've concluded after interviewing hundreds of people about this topic?
AGEncy does not always bring confidence, but there is no confidence without AGEncy.
AGEncy is the chicken AND the egg of confidence. What say you?
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7 个月Sam Horn, super question! It's a bit of a chicken-or-egg situation. So, which comes first? It might just be a mix of both, where small acts of AGEncy build confidence, and that confidence fuels even bigger steps forward. Or act with a small step of confidence first, then AGEency follows!
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7 个月I believe agency is something that you grow into as you find your way in the struggle of life. I struggled during my 19 years of teaching. I never had a stable footing on anything. I felt like I was robbed of what I can do. But now, I can prove to myself when I give myself the chance and time to be good at what I do. One week ago, I was confident enough to ask for a connection with the founder of a company (not knowing the person is the boss) and I introduced myself as a manager of my own website and a contributor at Confianza. I didn't expect the boss to ask me to be a contributor but the person did. The person took a look at my work and told me he was looking forward to see my writing and my work. I figured I can build my authority based on what I created. I am on cloud 9 since. ??