After Caregiving Ends, We Need Care

When caregiving ends, so much changes in one instant. Suddenly, the schedule, the tasks, the stress is different. While it may seem that the release from those responsibilities can reduce stress, the reality is that the void created by these changes creates a different kind of stress.

With more time comes more chances to reflect. Did I do enough? Did I provide enough comfort before my family member’s death? Did I try enough to cure the disease? Did I try enough to find a better treatment? Did I make the right choices and decisions? Did I say the right words often enough?

With more time to worry about whether we did enough, we experience the stress created by doubts and second guessing. 

With more time comes more time to reconnect with the world. Caregiving changes the family caregiver so there’s the stress of reconnecting in the world as a different person. How do I engage with the same friends now that I am different? How do I spend my time now that I view my time as more precious and valuable?

Now that caregiving has ended, the pressure to “get back to normal” can begin. Co-workers expect us to arrive back to work from a three-day bereavement leave like we were before the caregiving experience. But we’re still connected to the caregiving experience because we’re now closing out an estate, a house, a life. We’re grieving an experience that made up such a significant part of our life, often decades.

After caregiving ends, we need to recover because caregiving takes a toll. We haven’t slept well in years. We haven't relaxed in decades. We haven’t enjoyed the slower pace of day without unrelenting caregiving tasks. Healing is a process that relies on time. We often don’t receive the grace of that time from our workplaces and from our communities. 

Next week, we want anyone adjusting to life after caregiving ends to take time with us. Through our Beginning Again Retreat, we’ll focus on helping you heal. We will connect you to others who understand and invite you into a conversation abut how your grief feels. 

After caregiving ends, you deserve time. Take time with us. Our Beginning Again Virtual Retreat will take place from Aug. 3 through Aug. 7. We hope you’ll join us live. We know that may not be possible so we’ll record our sessions and make the archive available for you to use as a resource.

Scholarships are available. Details are here: https://www.careyearsacademy.com/retreat/.

We look forward to spending time with you during our Beginning Again Retreat.