Afraid to Make a Decision

Most of us have experienced a moment when we needed to make a decision, but instead, were paralyzed by fear. So, we just gave in and went with the flow. 

Or, instead of giving in we did nothing. For example, a client of mine allowed a salesperson to stay for an entire year despite never having made a single sale. Finally, after a year, she bit the bullet and terminated the employee. It had cost a great deal of money and opportunity as well as denying the employee the chance to find a job for which she was better suited.

We—you and me—do this in every imaginable setting. We accede to a lower prices in negotiations or pay too much for something because haggling seems rude. We eat cold dinners or tip servers who forget about us because it might cause a scene!

It’s even pervasive in medical care. Patients fail to make strong decisions because they think the doctor will disapprove or they’re worried about some unknown medical secret that will hurt them later. Even affluent, highly learned people are cowed by their fear of angry doctors. “… [they feel] compelled to conform to socially sanctioned roles and defer to physicians during clinical consultations”.

These cases all have one thing in common. The decision was delayed by fear.

Most of us have heard of “analysis paralysis”, the indecisiveness that arises from too much thinking and data. This is adjacent but different. Instead of analysis paralysis, this is fear-induced paralysis.

Although common, the name for the phenomenon is obscure, little-used and conjures a sort of pop-culture sensibility. But it’s a real condition and in its most pathological form can make it impossible for people to lead normal lives as sufferers confront abject fear over what to wear in the morning or whether to throw away a single piece of paper. The name for the condition is decidephobia, described in the 1970s by Walter Kaufmann of Princeton University.

Most of us are not decidephobes. Still, we allow fear to delay or hinder our decision-making in certain situations.

Think of the prospect who demands a free trial of an enterprise SaaS product. As the sales rep or the company founder, this feels like a no-win situation.

I have seen this happen with my clients. In one case a founder (“Ben”) was getting pressure from investors to increase revenue and add clients. A prospect was demanding a free pilot and extended month-to-month arrangement. The pilot would require all the same the work and cost of getting the a normal launch—but for free. And a month to month contract, with no guaranteed duration, could mean significant losses.

Decide Nothing, Just Surrender

In the face of the investor pressure and an endemic pipeline, Ben was leaning toward capitulating. That would be costly. Let me repeat – they would be agreeing to LOSING money on a deal. Why?

When we played out the imagined scenario of saying no and making a real decision, we discovered the internal mischief pushing him toward “going with the flow”. In Ben’s imagination, the outcome was binary. Either give-in to this unreasonable deal and keep the client (albeit, unprofitably) or the lose the deal.

Let’s look at the option where he accedes to the demands. It sounds ok. At least he got the deal. That is surely better than getting a NO.

Is it?

A prospect that starts by insisting on a bad deal can go many ways. It is not actually a binary scenario. Yes, they may walk away and slam the door if they don’t get what they want. Then what? Well, now there is certainty and a chance to move on to new prospects.

Good or Bad

So many times I see clients and peers hang on to the hope of a deal because they feel they have invested too much time and energy to cut bait. Wrong!

That is simply the sunk cost fallacy at work, and it leads to throwing good time (money) after bad. So, say no. Maybe they walk or maybe negotiation leads to a different understanding. Both eventualities are an improvement over endless hoping or capitulating.

There are other ways it could go. Maybe they go with a competitor and come back later.

But making no decision will be worse than exerting the will to make a conscious decision. Saving a bad deal doesn’t make it a good deal. In fact, making a bad deal has many more consequences than the bottom line of that transaction. It will cost money to maintain on an ongoing basis.

Plus, a prospect who so badly needs to win a negotiation, will also need to boast to others about having done so. Once they do that, all of their peers will expect the same deal. Eventually, it can undermine your pricing model. Or, you can be forced to break the deal with the original customer—and that nastiness will have its own sequence of negative fallout.

The fear that stops you now will come home to roost on later. No real upside.

Back to the Demanding Prospect

Maybe you’re wondering what Ben ultimately did about the money-losing deal. When we really played out the full scenario of a free pilot and a month to month deal, lots of things became clear. The fear loomed larger than warranted.

Yes, the prospect would no longer be a prospect if he walked away. But he wasn’t a client then and likely wouldn’t become one – and if he did—it would be a money-loser.

By making the tough decision to say no the founder gained freedom from the time-suck of indecision — and from the hope that was tantalizing but fruitless. Finally, he gained the opportunity to find another prospect or ten—prospects that would understand the value of the product and be willing to pay full price.