AFRAID OF THE LIGHT

Espíritu

Veterans Equine Alliance

THE HORSE GUY

COACHING WITH HORSES

STORY #186

AFRAID OF THE LIGHT

? ?

Life is not hurrying on to a receding future,

nor hankering after an imagined past. It is the turning

aside like Moses to the miracle

of the little bush, to a brightness

that seemed as transitory as your youth

once, but is the eternity that awaits you.

(The Bright Field, by R.S. Thomas).

I have a problem. It dates back five years to when I had enrolled in a two year equine coaching certification program. For reasons which still elude me, I had signed on for the whole enchilada having no horse experience and being unaware of any longstanding desire to work with horses. This was NOT the problem. There was the issue of my own inability to get the horses to do things in training that others in my cohort could do coupled with my own perfectionism. Incompetence + perfectionism make for long hard days and not much fun. Especially when learning new and complex skills.

My self propelled suffering continued until one afternoon while sitting with the group I had my own scaled down Moses-and-the-burning-bush moment — the best I can do is to say the collective consciousness of HORSE appeared to me. Their presence was vivid and unmistakeable. What they said to me was transformative —

“Your lack of experience with us is your great gift to us. You have no bad habits we have to correct. Your have no prior learning or trauma you must move through. You have no expectations that could get you into trouble with us. You are more open than most people are to who we are and what we have to teach you.”

The performance pressure immediately lifted from me and never returned. Suddenly, my perceived shortcomings became my offering to horses and to the group I trained with.

The horses had seen through to me, beyond my limitations and my lack of skill to something more essential and true within me — my light! They evoked it by their presence alone, a presence that my own consciousness translated into the words above. I felt liberated and free.

Freedom for me came when I realized that I had assumed my fears ( lack of competency, skill, performance) were obstructing me. The truth was my dark fears were actually my light (curiosity, wonder, courage and resilience); once I saw how I had wanted to disown my own light, freedom was the outcome. Horse was my great teacher and healer.

When you eventually see through the veils of how things really are, you will keep saying again and again, This is certainly not like we thought it was! ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? (From Moses and the Shepard, by Rumi)

The tendency to confuse light with dark runs deep within many of us. Our desire to get rid of what we perceive as shortcomings deprives us of integrating and then offering these same gifts to the world. Rumi, in the story poem above, describes “…the broken open lowliness” we often feel when we misunderstand that our short comings …are the real gift!

Now, back to my problem. Time and again in our coaching time with horses clients stumble over and want to apologize for some perceived ‘less than’ trait — like I did — when all I can see is the light in which all is held. People can go on and on talking about where they struggle, when the light of their passion, longing, strength and resilience emanates from within and surrounds them with beauty and grace. I cannot NOT see this.

I am becoming a horse. That’s the problem.

Marianne Williamson was right. “Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?

Horses reveal our light. They see our doubts and fears but without judgement. They see through to who we really are. In times of change, transition and uncertainty what could be more important?

See for yourself. We offer half-day, one day, and multi-day experiences with our equine coaches. No fee for military vets and their families. Try not to spend much time figuring out whether this is something for you. It’s a bit like standing outside a restaurant and figuring out the menu. Come in. Eat. Prepare to have what you think you know about your strengths and limitations lovingly turned upside down. Leave with greater confidence, clarity and power. These are a foretaste of the eternity that awaits you and is already in you.

?VETERANS EQUINE ALLIANCE ?

https://veteransequinealliance.com

ESPíRITU

https://espirituhorse.com