Affectation of Childhood Trauma on Adulthood (Part-1)

Coping with challenges and difficulties is acknowledged as a fundamental life lesson that helps us accept life for what it is. Accepting this reality is also part of our development process in childhood. Yet, tragically, during childhood, some are traumatised by an incident, situation, experience, or experiences that adversely affect their physical, emotional, social, and intellectual journey into adulthood.

Any trauma or crisis (especially in childhood) can make a child (and in severe cases, in adulthood) anxiety-prone, loss or lack of safety or intense fear. As an example of individual trauma, I recollect how my friend Maya* mentioned the traumatised childhood of her cousin, Abhinav*. Abhinav* grew up in an authoritarian childhood with a dictatorial father and a loving but passive mother. His father was very strict with him and hit him with a belt as a form of 'discipline'. The boy learned to control his feelings and emotions, associating pain with discipline and stoicism as a reflection of masculinity. He also started believing that showing or expressing emotions showed weakness and vulnerability.

Years later, Abhinav* became a highly responsible and conscientious young man who lacked genuine empathy for others. Through sheer efforts and discipline, he rose to professional success yet never stopped craving validation and respect from people around him. He sought hard to seek the respect, the belief in his abilities and the confidence about him from people – that he was deprived of during his childhood. Due to suspicion, flattery, and selfishness, Abhinav* had difficulty forming meaningful, healthy, and genuine relationships in life. His concern and attention to the level of respect he got from every relationship far overcame the focus on the importance of sincere relationships– especially family relationships.

In Abhinav*, the trauma had not emerged from natural disasters like the death of a loved one, loss of a home, sexual abuse, the hardships of poverty, or displacement caused by war. It emerged unconsciously in response to the physical abuse he had suffered in the name of discipline from several key family members. They were, ironically, the members from whom he was supposed to learn the value of acceptance, learn about respect, and the significance of growing in an encouraging environment of unconditional love.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, Childhood Trauma can be defined as,

"The experience of an event by a child that is emotionally painful or distressful which often results in lasting mental and physical effects".

Interestingly, one of the responses following a traumatic childhood includes the development of resistance or the cultivation of the ability not to experience any stressful aftermaths of the problem other than a more vigorous tenacity to face life. This tenacity is also accompanied by the maturity to understand that the manner to face the past lies in accepting and comprehending the experience and healing through the process, like in the case of Kumar*, who came from a sad poverty-stricken home where his childhood years were traumatised by his alcoholic father who used to regularly and brutally beat up his mother. Years later, Kumar* led a life of harmony and acceptance when he lived the life he envisioned – teaching classical music as a respectable music professional and having a secure, peaceful and comfortable family life. His past, though painful, was recognised by him as an experience that taught him to become a better individual.

As we may have observed, not all who go through childhood traumas enjoy the development to cope effectively, as is perceived when we compare the cases of Abhinav* and Kumar*. Every individual responds to the experience of trauma differently, and the response is based on several variables, including the nature of trauma and the frequency of the experience. Apart from the distorted perceptions of the abusers, memory lapses, and a pessimistic approach to life, the scars of childhood trauma can also lead one to experience debilitating shame, guilt, healthy emotion management, poor anger management and even depression. It also can impact the child's self-identity and sense of security in adulthood.

The consequential impact of childhood trauma can promote the development of an inability to experience happiness due to the stress-inducing sabotaging thoughts of anxiety and bewilderment to cope with life's travails.

*Names changed to protect privacy