Advice to My Graduating Son

We are so proud of you, David! You are graduating from college already.?At this happy and proud moment, I am writing this note on behalf of Dad, Mom and Daniel to give you our congratulations and best wishes. Although we are always going to be here for you and pray for you, the journey ahead of you will mostly be yours to explore.

You are not only graduating with the Highest Distinction, you also learned how to live an independent life. More importantly, you by all measures truly enjoyed your time at University of Virginia.?What makes it even more memorable is that you will be graduating from University of Virginia as one of the bicentennial graduates and being sent off with the school’s first ever NCAA basketball championship! Wow!

When I was graduating from college, there were no ceremonies, no speeches, no photos, no grand career plan. Still, it was gratifying as I was one of the luckiest among our generation and generations before us to get the opportunity to attend college.

Now thirty seven years later, how I wish I had a commencement speaker who would have told us what life would be about. How I wish I knew some of the things I know now. I am sure many before us felt the same way.?That’s what life is all about. You live and you learn.?While congratulating you on your graduation and accomplishments, here are a few things I wish to share with you.

Life is short. You probably feel like you have plenty of time ahead of you but life is short, really short. It feels like just yesterday that I was at where you are. Thirty seven years passed in a flash and could only be cherished in memories.?It’s so seductive to tell ourselves that we’ll go after what we want when we have more experience, more money, or more time,?but the truth is, that will never happen. Those are just excuses as masks for our fear. It’s only when we admit our fears and recognize how they are holding us back that we can begin moving forward.?Otherwise, by the time we finally wake up, the opportunities passed by, and we are old. Cherish the youth and be adventurous. Find something you truly love and enjoy. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinion drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. Take chances while you have the opportunity.?

Life is not easy. Easy doesn’t make us better.?The real joy of life is the satisfaction after you have conquered a mountain with sweat, the sense of a fullness only you can appreciate and understand. Set ambitious goals and have audacious dreams. More importantly,?enjoy the journey.?I dreamed about running a marathon when I was young but never thought it would be possible. That dream sat in the back of my mind until some twenty five years later when I finally had the courage to sign up and actually finish a marathon, then another, and another..... Pursue your dream and do not let fear of failure become an impediment in your way.?There is either success or lessons learned.?We learn far more from our failed attempts than the successful ones. Chances are, if you had not pursued the career, contest, or relationship, you wouldn’t have experienced failure. But you wouldn’t have completely experienced life either.?The most important thing in life is life itself, not the result of life. It is the struggle along the way, not the triumph. Learn to see failure as proof that you are brave enough to take on risks and to participate in the wide realm of experiences available on this planet. Feel empowered by what you have accomplished and remember that journey is the reward.

Life is not fair, at least not always. It is your choice to get over it or get frustrated. Life is indeed not fair, anticipate it, accept it, adjust it, or change it.?It is up to you to find beauty in the ugliest days. It is often better to light a candle than curse the darkness. Life is under no obligation to give us what we expect and our attitude towards life determines life’s attitude towards us. Everyone has to struggle in life to get from where they were to where they are. You do not always have control of the situation but you have a choice of how you react to it. Do not fear, complain or dodge. In the end, we all have to decide what we want to strive in life. For some, it is perfectly okay to accept the things they can not change. For others, they will always try to change things they do not accept.

Life is about going to bed every day smarter than when you woke up.?As you try making sense of things and figuring out your place in the world, the only person you should try to be better than is who you were yesterday. It wasn’t too long ago that people would finish school, get a job, and then spend decades in the same place. Those days are largely over.?To succeed in today’s fast-changing world,?you will need to be agile lifelong learners, about new technologies, new way of doing things, new environment, being comfortable with continuous adaptation, and willing to move across different fields. In addition, the world is more interconnected than ever before. To be able to navigate effectively in different cultures, different parts of the world, you will need to constantly learn and make adjustments.?With knowledge comes awareness, and with awareness comes the ability to do better things in this world. Lifelong learning can enhance our understanding of the world around us, bring us better opportunities, make us more productive, more importantly improve the chance for us to improve the quality of life for the people around us as well as our own.

Life is about the little things because one day you will look back and realize they were the big things. Life sometimes is indeed about your doing things you only thought would ever be your fantasy become your reality. Cherish those big moments and live for those moments. More often, however, life is about finding joys in the little things, enjoying a beautiful morning sunrise, feeling the grass between your toes, getting lost in a good book, cherishing a moment surrounded by your favorite people and you find the world is not a cold and harsh place after all. Life is a succession of such moments and to live each is to succeed. Make time to follow your heart and passion and don’t let your hobbies and interests take a back seat. They will become an extension of who you are.

Life is sometimes serendipitous. The thing you look for seems always evasive. Very often, you do not have the time or choices to make careful decisions in life in your youth. Sometimes on the way to a dream you get lost and find a better one. Other times it might take a wrong turn to get you to the right place. The key is to be ready.?Chance only benefits the prepared minds. To paraphrase Winston Churchill, when an opportunity taps on your shoulder and offer you the chance to do a very special thing, it would be a tragedy that moment finds you unprepared for what could have been your finest hour. Don’t dwell on decisions. Once you make a decision, things work around that decision. There is no right or wrong, only a series of possibilities that shift with each thought, feeling and action you experience. Whatever you are, be a good one. Whatever you do, do it a hundred percent. When you work, you work. When you laugh, you laugh. When you play, you play.

Finally, life is mostly about people. Always treat people the way you want to be treated.?We all want to be treated fairly and respectfully.?As I travel throughout the world and work with different people, everything I see constantly reminds me that different cultures share much more common values. We may wear different clothes, observe different philosophies, follow different ideas, but we are much more alike than different. We all think, sleep and breathe. We all eat, worry and love. Be humble and willing to learn, be forgiving and generous, not because you expect you will get something back but because that is the right thing to do, and also that is what my parents taught us.

The books you read, the roads you walk, the people you love, those are pretty much what life is about. Enjoy the journey ahead of you. Dream it, live it, love it and own it.

Love you. Best wishes for a healthy, productive and happy life.

毕业寄语

大伟，你就要大学毕业了! 你不知道我们是多么的为你感到骄傲和自豪。在这个美好的时刻，爸爸现在代表我，妈妈和哥哥寄语给你。为你祝福。虽然我们永远的都会帮助你，为你祝福祈祷，今后的生活道路大多要靠你自己去探索。

你不仅以优异的学业走上了毕业典礼台，学会许多做人的道理和独立生活的技能，而且你真正享乐你在维吉尼亚大学的时光。更令人难忘的是，你将有幸成为一名维吉尼亚大学建校两百周年纪念的毕业生，而且有维吉尼亚大学篮球队历史上第一个全国大学联赛冠军作为你们的毕业送行礼物！ 哇！?

当我三十七年前从太工毕业时，没有仪式，没有演讲，没有照片，没有职业生涯计划。 尽管如此，我能成为我们一代人或者可以包括之前的许多代人第一个有机会上大学的是非常引以为荣的。

三十七年后的今天，我多么希望当时毕业典礼时有人告诉我们什么是生活。 多么希望我当时知道一些我现在所知道的一些生活的道理。 我相信很多人都会有类似的想法。 这大概就是生活。 我们活着就是为了学习和探索。 在祝贺你毕业和所取得的成就的同时，我也想和你分享一些我对生活的看法。?

生活是短暂的。你可能觉得你一生岁月漫漫，来日方长。但生活是短暂的，真的很短的。 我感觉就像只是昨天我还是在你所处的位置。 三十七年的时光一晃而过，一去不复返。岁月流逝总是比想象中要快很多。生活中有许多事情，我们经常会安慰自己说我们会在有更多的经验，更多的钱财，或更多的时间以后再去追求。但事实是，这些事永远都不会发生的。 这些都只是我们为自己仿徨徘徊找的借口，是我们用来掩盖我们內心恐惧的借口。只有当我们承认我们心灵的恐惧和承认他们是我们前进道路上的障碍，我们才可能开始往前走。 否则的话，待我们最终醒来的时候，机会一去不复返而我们也青春已逝。 要珍惜青春，敢于冒险。 寻求你真正喜欢做的事情。不要让别人的意见淹没你内心的声音。 最重要的是，要有勇气去跟随自己的内心和直觉。世事无常，在你有机会的时候，一定要把握好机会去打造自己无悔的记忆。

生活是艰难曲折的。 走得太舒服的路，都是下坡路。真正的生活，是你气喘吁吁，汗流浃背翻过一座座高山后的充实感和满足感。年轻时要胸怀理想，志存高远。当然更重要的是要享受生活的旅程。 我在年轻的时候梦想过有一天去跑马拉松，但总觉得这是不可能的。 这个梦想我的心底深深地埋藏了很久，直到二十五年之后，才终于有勇气去注册并成功跑完第一个马拉松，然后另一个，又一个..... 笃信未来，勇敢地追求梦想，不要让畏惧阻挡你寻觅的道路。所有的事情，你或者取得成功，或着取得经验教训。我们从失败的经验中学到的教训远多于成功带来的经验。 生活就是这样，如果你没有去探索职业生涯，去参加比赛，去追求关系，你也就不会有失败，但同时你也失去了真正体验丰富生活的机会。人生是一幅顺利与挫折、欢乐与痛苦交织的图案。只要这样才能证明你敢于勇敢地面对挑战或接受风险，敢于积极参于和尝试世上广泛的生活。你现在所取得的成就应该已经给予你有足够的自信去接受这些挑战。但同时也不要忘记成功居然重要，更重要的是生活的旅程，是生活的本身。

生活是不公平的，起码不总是公平的。 你自己可以选择接受也可以为其而沮丧。 生活确实是不公平的，预想它，接受它，调整它，或改变它。 要能在最黑暗的时候看到美丽和光明。与其诅咒黑暗，不如点亮烛火。每个人的生活进程中都会是崎岖不平、备尝艰辛的。 生活并没有义务一定给我们所期望的东西，我们对生活的态度也就决定了生活对我们的态度。大多时候我们是无法去控制现实世界的，但我们总是可以选择如何对待它。不要抱怨，不要害怕，不要逃避。最终，每个人都要自己决定而选择怎样面对生活。 有些人会选择接受他们无法改变的事情。 而也有人总会顽强拼搏以改变他们不能接受的东西。?

生活的意义在于每天入睡之前比早晨醒来的时候更聪明一些。 当你在咏叹生活的哲理并试图认清你在这个世上所担任的角色的时侯，你最应该关注的不是为了超越别人，而是为了选择更好的自己。就在不久的过去，人们从学校毕业，找到一个满意的职业，然后花几十年在同一个地方工作。 这些时代基本是一去不复返了。 要想在这个日新月异的世界上做一个成功者，你必须不断索求，善学善思，持之以恒。不管是新技术，或者是新方法，还是新环境，都必须能学会自如的适应，或能在不同的领域之间不断奋斗拼搏。 此外，世界比以往任何时代都越来越相互关联在一体。要想能够自如地在不同的文化或国度里驾驭生活，你必须不断学习以提高和丰富自己。 知识丰富必然会让你更好的认识自己，而同时也给我们在这个世界上做益于社会事情的能力。不断学习可以提高对我们周边世界的理解，也给我们带来更多的机会，使我们有更高的效率和能力，也更有可能做为我们自己或周围的人提高生活质量的事情。

生活的乐趣在于日常的小事。因为有一天当你回头反顾，重温青春的时候，你会发现日常生活的小事其实是生活中最大的事情。当然生活有时确实会有一些将生活幻想变成现实的时刻。珍惜那些盛大而华丽的时刻并为那些时刻而骄傲。 但更多的时候，生活是在小事中寻找乐趣，一瞬日出东方时朦胧的晨曦，一种光着脚在草地上漫步的感觉，一个在灯光下安静读书的时刻，一片与你最喜欢的人同度时光的记忆，你感觉到世界并不是一个冰冷的地方。 生活就是由这样一些小小的时刻所组成。能享受每一时刻的生活就是成功。为你所喜好的事情挤出时间。不要让您的业余爱好屈居二线。生活的爱好将会成为你人生不可缺少的延伸。?

生活经常是具有偶然性的。你想寻觅的东西似乎总是回避你。 年轻时很多时候，或因为没有时间或缺乏选择余地，使我们不都总有机会认真地做出一些生活的决定。 有时候一个梦想从你身边擦身而过，而你却得到了一个更好的机会。 在别的时候，你在人生道路上选择了一个错误的出口，但也会到达你最终的目的地。 关键是在芳华之年奋斗拼搏，做好准备。 机遇只对有准备的人才有意义。用丘吉尔的话说，当一个机遇轻轻的拍到你的肩膀，并为你提供做一个非常特殊的事情的机会时，而你没有准备好去应对这个有可能是你最好时刻的话，那才真是一个生活的悲剧。不要在做决定上徘徊不前。 一旦你做出决定，周围的事情都会依你的决定而运作。 生活就是这样，大多时候没有正确或错误，而只是随着每个理念，每个感觉，或每个行动带来的一系列的可能性之间的互动或转变。不管你是做什么，尽最大努力做好。 不管你做什么，百分之百的投入。 当你工作，你工作。 当你爽笑，你爽笑。 当你游乐，你游乐。?

最后，生活真正的意义是与人的关系。 任何时候都要以你想要被对待的方式去对待别人。平等待人，相互尊重，真诚相待。这些年我在世界各地工作和旅行交往到很多人也看到很多事情，我看到的一切都让我不时的意识到不同文化分享许多共同的价值。 我们可能会穿不同的衣服，崇尚不同的信仰，拥有不同的理想，但是我们一致的地方远多于不同之处。 我们都要思考，睡眠，呼吸。 我们都会吃喝，担心，爱憎。 最重要的是要谦虚而愿意学习，是宽容和慷慨，不是因为你期待你会得到什么东西作为回报，而是因为就应该这样做。这也是我从我的父母那里得到的终身教诲。

读过的书，走过的路，爱过的人，这就是生活。 愿你享受你即将登上的旅程。青春更会由此驰骋。梦想它，抓住它，热爱它，拥有它。

我们永远地爱你。 衷心祝愿一个健康，丰满，和幸福的生活。

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