Advice for the Morning After...

It’s Wednesday morning, November 3, 1976, and I walk my 12-year-old self into the kitchen to hear my parents talking happily.

That means a lot.? Normally, it’s constant arguing.

They are celebrating the results of the presidential election between Gerald Ford and Jimmy Carter.? For the first time in their lives, my parents have voted Democrat.

I’m not really into politics, but even as a kid, I’m a news junkie.? We don’t have a television but since I spend time Monday through Friday with my grandparents, I watch it there.? Before school it’s the local news and then The Today Show and after school it’s reruns of Gilligan’s Island and The Munsters.

I know about the election.? I also know that my parents are really conservative, by California standards anyway.? My dad’s family are staunch Democrats.? He says they would vote for a fence post if it ran as a Democrat.

But this year is different.?? My parents had gotten religion a few years before.? Well, it was really my mom, but my dad was along for the ride.? At least in those early years before I think he finally bought in.? Because we attend a strict Baptist church, things change at our house. Along with the TV being removed, my dad dumps out all his alcohol and destroys a concrete garden sculpture with a sledgehammer because “it was an idol”, They were attracted to the fact that Jimmy Carter was “a Christian.”? That seemed to be the sentiment with their conservative friends.

I ask my mom why they are so excited, and she tells me Carter won.

I know from talking to my friends at school that most of them want Ford to win.? Then my mom suggests an idea.

“Why don’t we get a bag of peanuts, and you can go to school and put one on each of your classmate’s desk?” She suggests.? “That’s a good way to show them who won!”? (This, since Carter was a peanut farmer by trade).

I think about but don’t want to.? Middle school is hard enough without trying to entice trouble.

I thought about it again this morning.? Election Day, 2024.? And even though I don’t think we’ll know who won the election tonight, when the results do come out, there will be the temptation to “show them who won.”

That said, I have some suggestions on how to handle the next few days:

If Your Candidate Won:

Celebrate with your family, friends, and co-workers who share your views. BUT:

• Don’t spike the football and run your mouth. Just like putting peanuts on the desks of sixth graders, it will only cause hate and division, something we have more than enough of already.
• If you have been really vocal about your preferences, your co-workers are going to expect you to break the first rule. Try this.? Say nothing.? Since you’ve celebrated with the people you should, go to work and….do some work.

If Your Candidate Lost:

Commiserate with your family, friends, and co-workers who share your views.? BUT:

• Don’t come to work and bring the grief with you. Just as we should celebrate at home, we should process a loss at home.
• Resist the temptation to look for the sky to fall. Yes, each candidate promised it would along with a bunch of other bad stuff if their opponent won, but I’ve discovered after seeing lots of elections in my 60 years that when all is said and done, there is always a lot more said, than done.
• If you have been really vocal about your preferences, your co-workers are going to expect you to break the first rule. Try this.? Say nothing.? Since you’ve commiserated with the people you should, go to work and….do some work.

And finally.? For both scenarios.? Realize that those who run for office don’t know you personally. They don’t even know if you did or didn’t vote for them.? Don’t ever think that politics is personal in that your favorite candidate will lose sleep because you either did or didn’t vote for them.? If they don't know you, how can they possibly give two shits about you?

And finally finally, celebrate the fact we can again watch TV without being inundated with attack ads.? At least for the next 18 months.

My wish is for healing.? And peace.