Adversity: Are you Responding or Reacting?

The last Navy SEAL Admiral that I worked for liked to ask the question: “What are you doing to improve your fighting position?”  If there is a lull in the fighting or if you are waiting for the enemy to attack-what are you doing to further prepare?  No matter how bad things get, there is almost always something that we can do to move forward and better our situation.

Most of us our now facing adversity in varying degrees.  Some of us are dealing with the working from home while trying to make sure our children are engaged with learning and physical activity.  For many others, it is much worse.  For those not directly impacted by COVID-19 themselves, there those that are watching their businesses and way of life crumble before them.  Will my business survive this? How will I pay my bills and take care of my employees?

We ultimately have two choices.  We can react or we can respond.  

We can react by panicking or turtling-up.  We can be paralyzed by fear or be non-functional in the present because of the anxiety based on what may lie ahead.  We can allow physical isolation to become social isolation.  

We can wring our hands or throw in the towel because life as we know it has changed. Reacting is also sitting passively waiting for this thing to get worse or for it to pass.  Little thought is put into preparing for the challenges that lie ahead or we hunker down and wait for things to get better so we can resume the life we had pre-COVID.

When we react, we are not fully engaged. We are not ready for what’s next and we will likely not succeed to the level that we are capable of.

                                                            OR

We can respond!  No matter what, we commit to bettering our position. We make intentional choices and deliberate decisions. This may mean taking only small steps in improving or adapting our business model if that’s all we can do. That’s ok.  It also means investing in other areas of our lives where we can make improvements and get fulfillment.  The point is, we are not hiding and hoping-we are moving forward.

There is frequently talk about how adversity can forge us and make us tougher.  This certainly can be true but only if there is adaptation that comes from it.  Emerging from this virus period like a hibernating grizzly is not going to make us tougher and it’s not going to allow us to hit the ground running when things start to move in the right direction.  

If we are thoughtful and make composed and deliberate decisions instead, we will emerge from this crisis stronger than ever.  We can be postured to capitalize on opportunities we would have not previously considered.  We will succeed because while others hunkered down, we responded with adaptation.

 In the military, we use processes and frameworks that we can fall back on when things go sideways. These processes are simple enough that even the most junior or inexperienced member of the team can use them. If we get cut-off from our team and need to call for air support we will pull out a small laminated cheat-sheet that will guide us through the essential procedures.

With this philosophy in mind, consider using a very basic and holistic approach in responding to this challenge. Let’s use the body, mind, soul, approach. 

·      Body When it comes to peak performance, high levels of physical fitness and preparation are needed, that’s obvious.  What many people might not consider is how much our basic physical health affects our mental well-being.  

Physical activity helps with stress management as well as keeps our bodies from atrophying as many have significantly reduced their daily activity.  If you can safely get outside and walk, then do so.  Use that time to connect with others on a call.  This is also a great time to advance fitness goals.  You may not be able to go to the gym but there are plenty of home-based workout programs that require little to no equipment.

Good food and nutrition is medicine in keeping us physically and mentally healthy.  Sometimes though, we can fall into the trap of consuming to much food for comfort or from boredom.  The same thing applies to alcohol. I love bourbon and can easily fall into the trap of drinking every night which will negatively impact my ability to get good sleep and recover.  Enjoy good food or have limited virtual happy hours but try to restrict them to specific windows.  

Sleep is one of the most important aspects of our physical well being.  Like exercise we need good quality sleep to ensure emotional and cognition.  Practice some discipline here and put yourself on a sleep schedule and practice good sleep hygiene.

·      Mind  These are very difficult times to stay mentally healthy and productive. Many are feeling high levels of stress, while others are struggling to stay productive and effective. 

I remember when I would deploy to a new location in Iraq or Afghanistan.  We would get in in the middle of the night typically and would be trying to figure out where we would be sleeping, putting up our gear etc.  We would often be in temporary quarters as we would have to wait for the unit we were replacing to leave.  Though not a huge deal, I would always feel a lot better once I could get settled in a get a bit of a routine.  

Just like sleep, lock into a schedule.  The sooner that you can effectively do this the better you will feel.  It doesn’t mean you can’t adjust to help kids with homework or have an unplanned coffee break with your spouse, just try to be as consistent as possible.

Mindfulness and Meditation.  When it came to stress management and focus, these were gamechangers to me.  Mindfulness is our ability to stay in the moment.  We are fully present.  We notice emotional signals and distractions, but we don’t get carried away by them.  When we taught the Navy’s Warrior Toughness Program, our psychologist would share this video with the class.  It still gives me a chuckle.  There are many resources out there-I use an app on my phone.  Dedicate 5-15 minutes a day for a couple of months-I really think you will be pleased with the results.

·      Soul   It is in times like now is when our character is really tested. Can we dig in and adapt or do we fold? 

When we face adversity like this we need to lean into the things that provide strength to us.  For many, this is religion or other aspects of our spiritual side.  

As humans, we are the most social creatures on the planet and we thrive on human contact.  Even the introverts amongst us need this.  It is really important that we stay connected, especially those who are living alone.  In a socially responsible way, find creative ways to stay connected.  I took a tip from a friend and try to do daily “walk and talks”.  Kill two birds. 

Use this time to reach out to rekindle those old friendships, you will both really appreciate it.

Commit to being the person that perseveres through obstacles.

Commit to reaching out and helping others even when you are struggling.

Understand that there is much opportunity for growth. Be creative and adapt.

Despite all challenges, work every day to improve your fighting position and you will be able to hit the ground running while others have shut it down.

Respond, don’t react!