This article I wanted to do differently as it's a part two and the brunt of the information is explained in part one (if you didn't get a chance to read it yet, do that first here) So for this one, I want to dive right in and list out my takeaways from these experiences. Down and dirty, some of the aspects I've realized within the last two decades.
- I quickly realized just because a person can handle one type of experience, this doesn't make them equipped to handle every type. I had seen it all before Carter's month + trip. Between death, packing gunshot wounds with Tampons, matching missing limbs to the right people, IED explosions, mouth full of sewage water from explosions, etc. There wasn't much that could cause me to panic or shy away from, until Carter was choking on a feeding tube. I remember freezing up and panicking when it occurred, to the point the doctor told me I had to leave. I knew right then there was no way for anyone to be prepared for every scenario in life, and shouldn't expect too. Instead of preparing for adversity, I began to find solutions when it showed its face.
- While adapting is difficult and can be unwanted, this doesn't make it impossible. I use these lessons daily with my clients. I typically thrive helping small business owners accept change. Just because something worked five years ago, doesn't necessarily mean it will be a successful practice now. We learned that very quickly with Carter, that things would be different, but not worse. Having a VP Shunt meant Carter couldn't do certain things, or there was always a concern that lingered. This didn't mean Carter couldn't continue doing things an active boy typically does, we just adjusted and learned what signs to look for going forward.
- Just because you are already facing adversity, this doesn't stop more adversity from happening. You absolutely cannot let this defeat you, just adapt and attempt to find solutions. Carter being diagnosed with autism at 5 years old was an interesting time frame for us. It had been a few years, we were fighting to keep Carter moving in a forward direction after the three brain surgeries but kept hitting snags like an autism diagnosis, when we started looking for more answers. Once we discovered this phase of his life, at first all you could do is ask what else can you throw at this kid. However we knew the answer was as much as you want. Carter showed us continued adversity doesn't change anything, you just move forward. We found ourselves being more upset than he was, so we began to learn from him and take his lead on some things.
- Life is unpredictable...I am a planner, an operator. I like to form strategy and follow it through. One of the hardest aspects of adversity for me is the unpredictability within the entire concept. Adversity always throws a kink in the chain of things, it's your job to untangle the chain with solutions. Having problems with your small business, gain and outside perspective and brainstorm methods to fix it. Even if the first ten methods don't work, keep looking for eleven and twelve. Solutions always exist, some are harder than others to find.
- People matter, and they matter quite a bit. When we were in the hospital with Carter, several Marines drove three hours to come see my family and check in on us. They had even taken up a collection from the unit to help us cover expenses. Without people, especially unexpected visitors, adversity could be much worse. Let people in and allow them to help you find solutions to these problems. You never know what they can bring to the table. Too often I hear of owners not able to sleep and stressed out over challenges they are facing, let others into the challenge and see if they can help you find an answer.
- They bring?you out of your shell, out of your meaningless complaints, out of your unnecessary grudges or out of your own head and your own?ego. It humbles you because you realize that there are bigger things to worry about and that tragedies can happen to you too.
