The Advantages of Not Fitting In

We're social creatures. For all of our independence and uniqueness, we also value fitting in. In business settings, we like to know what people are talking about--to be able to understand the conversation, if not actively participate in it. It can be so awkward to be in a meeting where you lack the expertise to know what is being discussed. It can also be a superpower.

Early in my career, I learned how to do the knowing head nods suggesting that I understood discussions even if I didn't. I'd be listening to people talk about topics I knew nothing about and I'd go along with the conversation, only piping up if a question was directed at me (and hoping that such questions wouldn't be forthcoming). Over time, my approach changed.

These days, if I'm in a meeting, I assume there's a reason I'm there. The world is full of memes talking about unnecessary meetings, and if I'm truly surplus in a meeting, I'll gracefully bow out. But if I'm there, I'm participating. And if I don't understand something, I'll ask questions.

At first, I did this out of curiosity. I wanted to understand why and how things worked, why decisions were being made, what was happening, who was doing it...if I'm requested to use my time to be in a discussion of a topic, I figured I should understand the topic. But as I asked those questions, more and more, it made me one of the most valuable people in the room.

It's not an exaggeration to say that the willingness to ask questions and work to understand topics that are a little outside my wheelhouse has become one of my best and strongest workplace skills. It has produced some of the best and most amazing results for my employers and clients, as well. I'll give you a few examples.

One of my past clients involved me in a high level policy discussion about rolling out a complex service on a statewide basis, knowing that I had some experience in one narrow aspect of the project. The project required sending and receiving supplies all across the state, on incredibly expedited timelines (same day service), and was anticipated to launch in November of 2020. I asked a question unrelated to my role in the meeting: how are you going to ship and receive these critical supplies? The answer was that the client intended to use commercial shipping services like FedEx and UPS. I'm not a shipping or logistics expert, but I questioned if this was a viable solution given that we were heading into the heart of the holiday shipping season, during the darkest hours of the pandemic, at a time when the news was featuring stories talking about "Shippageddon" and the incredible challenges of shipping.

My question prompted further discussion, and since I had been the initiator of the question, I was involved in that discussion. That one question lead to my company's involvement on a massive, multi-year courier transportation project to support our client's needs. It was an incredibly productive project for our client and my company--and the entire project (and the opportunity to provide services) was borne out of a question I asked out of curiousity.

The second example is even more unusual. I was working in municipal government and planning a project involving drilling a new well. As a non-technical type in a room full of engineers, I was hearing them talk about the process of drilling a test well (to check for water quality). In the ordinary course, a test well is drilled and once the water quality is confirmed, the test well is abandoned and a new well is drilled for water production. That sounded odd to me, and I didn't understand it, so I started asking questions.

My questions didn't have good answers. The normal way of doing things was designed to be conservative, but it created waste that wasn't justifiable. In the course of a 60 minute meeting, my questions charted out a new way of approaching the project that avoided the need to drill and abandon a test well, while still allowing water quality to be checked and confirmed with little risk. The end result produced six-figure savings for my client.

Why did my community enjoy those six-figure savings?

Was it because I was an engineer? Did I come into the meeting with a full understanding of the technical process at issue? Was I used to and did I accept the standard way of drilling wells? Was this a normal part of my daily work?

The answer to all of those questions is a resounding NO!

My community enjoyed those savings because I used one of my superpowers. I didn't understand what was being discussed, so I asked questions. I had a unique perspective, as the only non-technical person in the room, and I leveraged that to my advantage--and to my community's advantage. I didn't come at the project with the same assumptions as the others in the meeting, and so when I started to question those assumptions and they couldn't readily be justified, a better approach developed. I was able to give my board the option to innovate and save costs--which they jumped at!

Sometimes, not fitting in can be a superpower. Having a different perspective can empower you to question things and have insights that others in the meeting don't. Maybe your perspective comes because of your knowledge or lack thereof. Maybe it comes from your diverse experiences or background (yet another reason to champion diversity of all forms in our workplaces). But regardless of why it is, if your viewpoint is unique in a meeting, embrace it. If you have questions, ask them. At worst, you'll learn more and have a better understanding of the project and your work. At best, you'll develop a new line of business, or create a new way of doing things--and generate financial benefits for your work or client.

If you invite me to a meeting, I'm assuming there's a reason I'm there. I'm assuming you want to hear my questions and my perspective. And if I invite you to a meeting, you can safely assume that the inverse is true--I want to hear from you.