Adult Loneliness: Causes, Signs and How to Overcome it

Adulthood is not easy; some thrive, work, make a life for themselves, and settle down. But, finding themselves, and therefore, this period can be a little lonely for many. It's not about the absence of people, but it's about the lack of connection. It's a period of rapid transition, and it's a taxing experience. Have you ever felt alone, even with a bunch of friends? Do you feel like people around you got busy with work ? Do you think your friends are settling down and don't have time for those boys' or girls' night outs anymore? Do you feel you and the people around you are at different wavelengths? Do you think you have no one to talk to? Do you think you have no one with whom you can hang out? If the answer is yes, then the chances are that you feel alone. As an adult, you can feel lonely as you experience so many instances and feel responsible for yourself

Adult loneliness can look like this:

Friends being in different stages of life

Someone you know is getting married, someone is moving abroad, someone is still in their teenage phase, and you don't know where you fit in. You are still navigating what you want in life, and therefore, you feel disconnected from others and sometimes with yourself, too, leading to feeling lonely.

Scrolling through media and thinking everyone has it all and I'm going through things alone, and you feel like you should've achieved more.

We all know social media can be taxing at times, and while scrolling through it, you feel as if everyone is going through the time of their lives, and it's just you who's struggling alone here. Unfortunately, primarily people put their best selves on social media and don't talk about their struggles which can give the illusion that life is just a good party.

Battling mental health issues alone because you're now responsible for yourself

We all know how responsibility is the key feature of being an adult. It's in this stage in life when we go through significant stress; some of us battle anxiety as well, and to keep it together, we often battle these alone and feel lonely.

Being disconnected from your co-workers

We all go to work as an adult, and even though we love our work, that might not be the case with our co-workers. There can be politics, toxicity, competition in the work environment, or simply different likes and dislikes amongst the groups. One spends a lot of time at their workplace; therefore, finding people you can talk to is crucial.

One-sided relationships with people around you

Often, it feels like it's just you who's trying to make the friendship work; you make plans, talk to them, listen to them but don't get the same response from others and then feel disconnected from them, which results in feeling lonely.

Personal characteristics like feeling shy around people or being an introvert

Personal characteristics can affect our relations to a large extent. For example, if we are shy, we don't approach many people and form relations.

Your siblings, friends, or spouse have passed away

Grieving for someone can impact you as it transforms your life and circle and leaves you feeling lonely at times.

Juggling responsibilities

As an adult, juggling between your work and personal life and sometimes committing a time can be a challenging task for you and therefore has an adverse effect as you cannot attend gatherings or meet people around you. All of the above experiences can leave you feeling disconnected from yourself and others.

All of the above experiences can leave you feeling disconnected from yourself and others.

How can you change your state of being lonely?

The answer depends on why you feel lonely and the cause of your loneliness. Some tips for you could be :

Strengthen your existing relationships

You can re-ignite the lost spark in your existing relationships by taking time to do shared activities together or going to a place you used to hangout to re-visit old memories and feel a breath of fresh air inside you.

Taking a self-care break

You cannot pour from a filled cup; sometimes, it's good to take a break and gain perspective. Identify what makes you complete by being present, identify what you like at this age, and move with that.

Join a club/ class/ Take up a hobby etc.

Finding activities you enjoy can bring you happiness and form new relations in life. You can meet and connect with new people and make your life more colorful.

Talk to more strangers.

A friend was also a stranger once. So don't shy away from talking to more people. You might find people with similar wavelengths, likes, and dislikes.

Find a therapist

Talking to a mental health professional or taking talk therapy can also help deal with your issues. They are professionally trained in the field and can offer expert advice to you.