Adult Learning (a personal story)

My son was an animal-obsessed but timid young boy who began taking riding lessons at age 10. We were a family with a dog in the suburbs, living close to equestrian centers but otherwise unaware of the horse world. We bought my son a gift certificate from a private barn that offered riding lessons alongside a competition program. I can still picture him riding in sweats, half-chaps and track shoes that first summer.

Standing on the rail watching riding lessons transported me away from MY daily routine. I was impressed with the methods my son’s trainers used to teach safety, physical fitness and mental toughness. We were both proud of his progression from the longe-line to independent steering and posting the trot. I lived vicariously through his lessons in a way I had not previously been immersed in his swimming, soccer, or basketball practices.

Over time I picked up new terminology, became comfortable with grooming, tacking up and untacking, etc. We bought my son riding clothes and his own saddle. He leased one of the trainers’ large lesson ponies for his first local show and was over the moon that weekend, navigating Johnny Jump-up the pony through the warm-up ring, walk-trot poles and cross-rails divisions.

Seeing my son’s confidence in himself grow and observing his enthusiasm for all the horsey things, I started to contemplate whether I would also enjoy learning to ride. I’d only had a single summer riding experience as a child - during girl scout camp. At age 49.5, I mentioned my wish to my son’s trainers, who encouraged me to learn to ride. They shared stories of adults who were total green beans (like me) as well as those who returned to the sport after decades away. We were able to lease a schoolmaster who suited my son’s needs as well as mine.

My first year of riding was transformative as my perspective changed from being only a horse mom to “horse mom and equestrian.” I focused on building my skills in the saddle and on the ground. Posting the trot, learning my diagonals, and the magic of the first canter were important milestones for this new adult rider. Learning to use my legs, seat and hands independently was also a challenge. I consider myself a decently fit adult and a good listener, but learning to ride has challenged me in ways that no other activity has. I’ve had to overcome waves of anxiety and imposter syndrome. I credit my trainers’ persistence and patience with keeping me in the saddle for over 9 years. A turning point was deciding to make time to ride 2 to 3 times a week after my son moved away for college.

Trainers take starry-eyed but distracted, sedentary adults like me and mold us into horse people, if we let them. They teach us how to let go of our overly-analytical tendencies and go with the flow, if we are open to their words of wisdom. They push us to improve our fitness, flexibility and communication skills to be better riders for our horses. They laugh with us - ok, sometimes at us! - but never fail to give us the push or high five we need when we hesitate.

Having ridden with a single barn for nearly 10 years, I have observed first-hand the array of qualities that trainers must possess and continue to demonstrate year after year - talent, tenacity, strength, empathy, business savvy, patience. The list goes on and on.

On a very personal level, my trainers have shown me that it is absolutely OK to put my riding goals on equal footing with other competing priorities in my life. My trainers have helped me transform into the horse girl that my younger self never knew I wanted to be.