Adomania

the feeling that the future is arriving too soon. It is pronounced “ad-uh-mey-nee-uh”. The word comes from the Italian a domani, which means “until tomorrow”, and the word mania.

If you think about it long enough, you’d begin to feel time creeping up on us all, making it clear we’re no match for it. It all usually becomes too fast, too sudden, and we’re just out here, fighting for the lives of our necks. I usually feel too overwhelmed, like the whole thing I’m trying to create is rushing at me as if to take me out and make me stop. It’s partially due to my fault and the decision to set up my life. I imagine I am too engrossed in resolving to live, and then there’s this whole thing of being in control over that future. It becomes so much of a thing to me that I often don’t know when to take a break, just complete zen, always, always. as though stopping would mean I don’t want that life hard enough.

It’s a unique perspective, but the driving force behind my actions. I adhere to a simple principle: if I hold the reins of my life, my daily conscious effort on what I’ve deemed important ensures I’m making real progress toward my envisioned future.

Maybe I’m right; perhaps I’m wrong. I continually push myself, not to break boundaries but to maintain momentum. Once I define a goal, I’m committed to not losing that momentum. As appealing as this sounds, it comes with a cost of pain and sacrifices endlessly. I often feel overwhelmed, yet I refuse to stop short of my goal.

Maybe it’s time to breathe, strategize, and renew the vision. I asked myself why I wanted this to this extent and then reexamined my approach to getting through certain things. I have to forgive myself on so many levels and see that, Well, maybe I am right or wrong. I continually push it not to break a boundary but to not stop. The only thing I know right after defining my goal is not to stop once I start chasing it. And as beautiful as it sounds, it comes with endless costs of pain and sacrifices. I feel overwhelmed already. It’s beyond a particular flow of reality to want to do things through a keyhole.

I’m constantly learning and doing my best to absorb guidance from the journey, those around me, or personal experiences and devotions. For me, the journey is far from over.

I keep things simple and direct in as many details as possible. Of course, it feels natural and, in a way, rightly so. I have never thought things needed more attention than a joke or something to note. I often feel it’s okay to work through anything that might come as a challenge, not by ignoring it but by facing it head-on with a mindset of resilience and determination. I was lost, a bit into myself, and yet not seeing the bigger picture where it would all come together as one perfectly modeled solution. I still feel somewhat this way despite my best efforts.

However, I have realized the importance of being open and trying my best to understand the situation from different points of view so that I can make decisions without repeating old mistakes.

Stories like this serve as a mirror, allowing me to objectively see who I am and how I’ve come to appreciate the person I’m becoming. I have immense potential; even with my best efforts, there’s always room to grow and learn. It’s crucial to forgive myself when things don’t go as planned and to adapt to the changing winds, ensuring I give my all. As much as this sounds, it’s a complex journey. But then again, when has anything worth fighting for ever come quickly?

I know I have limitations, flaws, and probably things I wouldn’t intentionally try, but it’s still okay to see the irk in them and then go all the way out to make that change, even at the expense of a habitual pattern.

As with every story, I still have much to do and figure out as I go along. Every ending feels like a new beginning, and as much as I can, I will keep it that way through all the struggles, through thick and thin, and through all challenges. Even if the future is so fast and unpredictable, who knows how far I can go by learning, growing, and trying again?